


Wandering Romance

by untilmynextstory



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilmynextstory/pseuds/untilmynextstory
Summary: Aubrey finds herself caught in the web of Jackson Teller.





	1. You Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

**Part I: Appetite for Destruction**

 

* * *

 

Aubrey has never formally met Jackson Teller. She has simply grown up always knowing who he is like how it's innate knowing how to breathe. Growing up in a small town like Charming, you didn't have to really meet anyone to really know them. It was like they were some weird SciFI town where basic information was just stored in their DNA. It was like epigenetics, it was passed down genetically to know certain people and things about Charming.

And everyone knew about Jax, his mother, and his club.

It was part of the reason why she had always known who Jax Teller was. His family and club were like the boogeyman of Charming. They were the perceived devils of the town families told their kids to stay away from. And it was dangerous to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, or so she thought.

She and Jax had gone to the same schools as it wasn't like there were a lot of choices of schools to go to in Charming. You either went to the public schools or your parents shipped you off to Stockton to the private schools, Count of Aquino or Pilgrim Grove.

She and Jax were a year apart, but managed to hang out in the same crowds.

Or mostly, she found herself somehow in the web of his closest associates.

Lowell Harland was the same age as her and she ended up being his partner in a lot of things for classes. He was nice and a little awkward, but was a whiz when it came to mechanics and any problems relating to it. It was clear the boy was troubled living with a junkie for a dad and a mom trying to pay bills with whatever money she had that wasn't stolen for drugs. Despite Lowell's connection to SAMCRO it didn't stop bullies from picking on the sweet boy.

Then there was Kyle Hobart, in her opinion was a pig. He was a couple years older, but got held back once in kindergarten. She doesn't know how it is possible to fail kindergarten, but he did. They shared gym together and she made it a point to steer clear of his line of sight. He flirted with anything and everything. It always amazed her how he managed to trick a girl into being his girlfriend. The kicker of it was that they always cried when he ended up cheating up them. Aubrey never understood men like that. If they wanted to sleep around that was fine as long as you were upfront about it, but don't try to settle with one girl when you only plan to fuck her best friend behind her back. So Aubrey tried to avoid him at all cost with his cheesy pick-up lines and stupid smirk. She's surprised no one had burst his bubble that the only reason he was so appealing was because he was very close friends with Jax. After all, he mostly got Jax's sloppy seconds.

The only group in Jax's little posse she did like or go out of her way to talk to was Opie. Despite being tall and foreboding, the man was a giant Teddy Bear. He also seemed to be the only sane one.

She had gotten close to Ope after he dated her good friend Payton for a few months. She even doubled with them for a couple things when she was seeing an old boyfriend. He was always respectful to her and wasn't obnoxious like Kyle or cocky like she knows Jax can be. He was easy to talk to as well, but he was also fine with silence. She was sad that Payton had broken things off with the Sasquatch, but it seems Opie wasn't hurting too bad as he had moved on to Donna Lerner a small quiet girl that had moved from Lodi to Charming over Christmas Break last year.

Despite their inner circles mingling and her friend dating his best friend, she and Jax never really spoke or interacted outside of sharing a few blunts and an occasional drink. They always had ended up at the same parties. They were always in the same room a few feet away from one another. It wasn't as if they weren't aware of each other because she was very aware of Jax with his discreet stares at her.

And it wasn't as if she wasn't guilty of checking out Jax either.

She wasn't blind.

Jax was gorgeous with his growing blonde hair that fell to his shoulders. Aubrey thinks only he could pull off such long hair as she usually like her guys clean shaven. He wasn't shy about his body either as when they had been in the same gym class everyone got a peek at his six pack and he would proudly flex his muscles for the nearest hyperventilating girl.

But even with the body, blonde hair, and those blue eyes, the permanent smirk plastered to his face, he carried himself in a way that attracted bees to his honey pot. It was a cocky confidence, which would have been seen as obnoxious in any other man, but one Aubrey can admit she would probably find herself caught into too.

And now it seems with him dropping out of school and people whispering about how he was a Prospect for his dad's club, it was making him more mature – appealing. His cocky teenager swagger was being replaced with something more dangerous – forbidden. And people loved forbidden fruit. Anything forbidden meant it was a desirable item. Jax seemed to fit that description to a T.

She suspects this change in him, this animal magnetism, is the source of the problem with his current relationship.

Aubrey was surprised like most the one to tame Jax Teller's flirtatious ways was Tara Knowles.

Aubrey was unsure of how she felt about the Valedictorian.

She knows Tara comes from a fucked up upbringing with her mom dying in a car crash when she was 9. Then to top it off, her Dad decides to drown his sorrows with the bottle and if really drunk, he would take it out on Tara. It was a shame as Tara's dad was movie star handsome and the alcohol was slowly turning him into a post-surgery Mickey Rourke.

Aubrey and Tara had shared classes as they were in the same grade.

After all they were both honor students in AP classes and their paths crossed a lot. Tara never really had a group. She has moved from people to people. She never fully allowed herself to be a part of something. She was aloof and kept people on the edge. She presumes that aloofness could be found attractive.

She always felt Tara was nice enough, but she got the feeling Tara thought she was better than everyone. She didn't know where Tara got that attitude from, but it made it very hard to try and become friends with the girl.

She does know however once Jax had decided to save Tara from her tower like Prince Charming, Tara's personality had done a complete 180. Gone were loose shirts and comfortable sweats and in replacement were tight jeans and tanks that showcased the aspiring doctor's pale skin and moderate curves. It wasn't as if Tara was not something to be desired. She was pretty with her Snow White skin and dark hair. The upgrade in wardrobe had certainly worked in her better interest, but she didn't see what connected Jax and Tara.

They seemed to be of two complete opposite worlds – morals.

It wasn't as if she thought a lot about the two star crossed lovers, but when they continually have very public spats a person could only help but wonder what was the pull and the glue that held them together.

And Aubrey wonders what in the hell the two could find to argue about right now.

They were all out to celebrate the end of the school year, she and Tara were about to graduate in a couple weeks from Charming High. They had completed the required years of education for the torturous American school system.

They were out by the streams in a forgotten cabin by the adults, but not the teens as they throw multiple bonfires and parties throughout the year. If anybody really cared to find out it probably belonged to the Oswald family since they owned all the woodland areas. Considering the grandeur of the place she was pretty positive it was. She's surprised it has lasted this long and that no homeless people lived in squander there.

But it seems it was just a treasured place for the youth. The one thing they had in this tiny town.

Aubrey knows this will be her last party as it won't make sense for her to come back after graduation. And it's a good party with an even better turnout. She's surprised that Hale even showed up with his current girlfriend, Holly, and the future deputy is even partaking in some underage drinking. Aubrey files that away for future blackmail use. As after all the statute of limitation is seven years.

Even more, she's surprised Jax had tagged along with Tara to this rite of passage. She would think anything high school related would be in his rearview mirror. From what she heard, high school or it's functions weren't much of a priority when he was a registered student. So she doesn't see why it would be now especially as she hears his club has parties practically every day.

But everyone had watched in awe as Tara had rode in on the back of his bike, and he was sporting proudly that leather kutte that displays his club's emblem on the leather. The insignia is a foreboding symbol and it's strange seeing it up close.

Yet, something had happened between the time they had arrived until now, as she can hear Tara's high pitched shrill and Jax's low timbre telling her to calm the fuck down. She rolls her eyes as the girl could at least wait until they were in private to wash their dirty laundry.

Aubrey is away from the crowd and hidden by some trees smoking a cigarette when she hears the crunch of twigs and some leaves before a figure approaches her. He leans against the tree besides her. She's hit with the smell of leather, smoke, and something else she doesn't' recognize.

"You mind if I bum one?" Jax asks quietly as he crosses his feet in front of him.

Aubrey digs into her pockets as she takes out her full pack and lets him pick out his stick. He doesn't need to ask for a lighter as she has hers out and ignites it. She watches as the flames illuminate both of their faces in the moonlight.

She can tell he is stressed and irritated. His blue eyes looks harden from whatever he has gotten tangled up into in the last year. The flame goes out and Aubrey leans back against the tree and Jax takes a long drag of the donated cigarette and it's quiet between them. It's not awkward, but attentive. She can tell he is looking at her with the aid of the moonlight and the faint glow of the fire a few feet away.

She can hear the mosquitos humming nearby and even swats at a few while trying not to look like an idiot. The laugher from her peers drowns out some of the music playing and Aubrey thinks she has never been a fan of rock n roll. She prefers something more sensual – relaxed. But she can't resist the urge to hum along softly to "Sweet Child O' Mine".

"How come we never hooked up?" Jax asks after Slash's solo.

At first she isn't sure she heard the question or really that he was speaking to her. It was so abrupt and she was curious as to why he would want to end their silence with that. As the question hits her slightly buzzed brain she tilts her head back and laughs. She full on belly laughs. She thinks it's mostly the alcohol's fault for this laughter, but she finds this pick up line so cheesy.

"Does that really work on girls?" She asks him genuinely curious as her laughs subdues. He doesn't seem bother by it either. She thinks it's probably because she is known for her spontaneous laughter at things. She has always found the most stupid or downright morbid things funny.

He doesn't say anything, but she can see his smile in the night. She knows that it's not about the line. It's the deliverance of it that matters. She has heard shit spewed to her far worse that she sometimes would entertain. She knows the only reason it's not working now is the fact he doesn't really believe his words. His mind is somewhere else for him to make her feel like the only girl in the world.

He stands up straighter as he throws his bud on the ground as he shakes his head. Clearly the wheels are grinding as he tries to work something out within himself. "I am genuinely curious though." He adds as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. She can feel his gaze burning intensely on her and it isn't the cool breeze of the night that makes her shiver slightly.

His words make her pause. Her smile dims a little as he is serious and depending on how she answers it could not end well for her. She knows boys – men – like Jax get off on the attention from women. She suspects it's probably why Tara and Jax were fighting minutes before. Jax can't resist the attention the women give him. He likes the feeling of being wanted – the power he can hold over the seemingly innocent woman. After all, he is young and virile. It's only right for him to be sowing his oats.

He can't help himself, but to look and to see his options. It's in his nature to test Tara in the fact that she is just one girl that has his eye now. He could have plenty of others who probably wouldn't be as much of a hassle. To Aubrey it's a petty game that she has no interest in being a part of.

"It always seemed your interests lay elsewhere." She replies as she flicks her own cigarette away. Since the boy hit puberty she had seen a different girl on his arm that didn't last more than two weeks before Tara came along.

He's been entangled with Tara for three years. She didn't want to get anywhere near that shrapnel when he decided to piss off Tara. Especially during one of their numerous breaks by sleeping with some blonde bimbo she couldn't stand. She doesn't understand how Tara could possibly handle that humiliation. The same pathetic repeated behavior that seemed exhausting to deal with and they were only 18. Why would she even want to put up with it?

Jax hums as he seems to accept the answer. He leans back against his tree and does a full appraisal of her.

At 5'7'', Aubrey possesses long lithe legs that she loves to show off in skin tight jeans or currently her short shorts. She is lucky she has a nice little bubble butt to compliment her. She can admit she isn't that gifted in the chest area, but she possesses a moderately B cup that was enough for boyfriends to grab on. And she could say her light brown straight hair isn't something to be desired as she frequently gets high lights or would go a few shades darker on occasions, but it works for her and compliments her green eyes.

If it isn't too conceited she can admit she is a pretty girl. A subtle beauty that she doesn't see the need to flaunt like that girls he surrounds himself with.

"You're dating Ryan Jones?" Jax asks her as he eyes the high school letter man jacket she is wearing.

"He asked me to the party," she tells him simply.

"I thought loaning the letterman jacket was a serious thing," he says.

"Not like slapping tattoos on people to claim them." She counters.

She remembers how last summer, Tara couldn't help but flaunt the tramp stamp she had gotten  _for_  Jax. Aubrey tried her best not to judge people, but she truly believed for someone so smart that was a dumbass decision. Tara was only 17 at the time and a tattoo wasn't something to take lightly. It was something permanent. Aubrey was confused on how Jax even got Tara to consider it let alone do it. The worst thing was Jax didn't even reciprocate the gesture. So what did Tara get out of the deal except him fucking Amy Simmons two weeks later?

Jax chuckles as a smile lights up his face at the dig at his culture. "We all have our traditions."

"Well a jacket is easier to get rid of than a tattoo," she quips.

And by the wolfish grin that comes over his face, she knows he is getting a thrill off her giving him some lip.  _Jesus_ , she thinks,  _he is either really bored, or Tara doesn't put up much of a challenge or gives him a real bitch fit._

"How long has this been going on?" He asks and Aubrey has it on the tip of her tongue to ask why he cares, but stops herself.

"A few months," she tells him. Ryan was sweet and nice. They were just simply having a good time. He had plans to leave for college he was going to UC Davis after scoring a full scholarship for football. She plans to stay in Charming.

"Seems he should be keeping better eyes on you," Jax tells her as his eyes move down to her legs before meeting her eyes.

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "I can take care of myself. Besides shouldn't you be trying to dig your way out of the doghouse?"

She watches as he deflates at the mention of his girlfriend. She almost feels bad for it, but then again she doesn't.

"Yeah…you're right." He agrees as he pushes some hair behind his ear, "You're nothing but trouble Aubrey Pierce," he teases with a smirk.

She flashes him a coy smile that he sees right through as they both begin to laugh.

"I'm serious though…why didn't we ever hook up?" He presses again and she realizes he isn't going to stop until he gets an answer.

"Aubrey?"

Both their heads whip to the voice of Ryan as he approaches her. He doesn't seem bothered by her talking to Jax. In fact, he nods his head at Jax before an arm wraps around her shoulder bringing him into his warm body. "We're about to head out to Duncan's."

Aubrey nods her head as her arm goes around his waist.

"I'll see you around, Jax," she throws back to the blonde biker.

He nods his head as he flashes a grin showing her all his teeth.

She almost laughs as he produces a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lights one.


	2. Where Do We Go Now?

 

Life had moved on and Aubrey doesn't really try to spare that much thought to Jax Teller or their first conversation at the bonfire, or more so his sly way of starting a conversation.

But it's hard not to as the town is burning like wildfire with gossip with how he is handling Tara Knowles' departure for San Diego to college. From what people had been able to pick up from that wreckage was that it was a nasty split.

Although considering how the two used to argue in public, Aubrey wasn't exactly sure what constituted as nasty, but it was bad enough that Tara had left in the protection of the night without a goodbye. Apparently Jax had to find out she left when he stopped by her father's place. Apparently Tara's dad wasn't all that sad his daughter left without even a goodbye or warning to him. Instead the drunken man had taken the time to gloat in Jax's face about it and how his daughter should be proud to twist him the fuck up.

That conversation had ended with a neighbor calling Charming PD to stop Jax from beating the drunken man to death.

Even after the first few weeks of Tara's departure, the so called love of Jax's life hadn't even called Jax or wrote him a letter just to tell him she made it to school or anything.

Aubrey thinks that is a little nasty considering the history with the two.

And if gossip is true, it seems Jax is handling the breakup like every heartbroken fool by sleeping through his grief. Aubrey wishes men knew that cheap knock offs and one night stands was only going to make the ache worse. Jax was only going to dig a deeper hole for his grief to wallow in as she is sure he has been comparing every girl to the pale dark hair girl. She's surprised his dick hasn't probably been rubbed into a nub or even functions not that she would really care.

It's almost funny how predictable men are.

Aubrey tries to feel bad for him because in a way he loved Tara. Slapped her with a tattoo proclaiming to Charming – the world – that Tara was his, but Jax didn't realize he didn't own Tara. Tara couldn't be owned. Her cage had been broken for a long time away before he came along. He couldn't fix that broken gate to keep her in.

She wonders how he could have been this oblivious about his so called love of his life. Or maybe he just chose to ignore it. He believed their love – bond – would be enough to keep her satisfied. Their love would've kept her in Charming and they would live some fairy tale.

But she can't find any empathy in his worldview. She finds his world to be a little sexiest because if he had loved Tara he would have been supportive of her need to leave Charming and become a surgeon. If they really loved each other, they could have tried to make it work. And if the distanced proved too much, they still had time to come back to each other. Give them time to grow and experience the world. But she has other things to worry about than Jax's broken heart.

…

She doesn't see Jax again until December

She wonders how attending a wedding is helping him with his mood and grieving process as he stands next to his best friend.

He doesn't look too bad. She's taken back by his buzz cut and she laughs at the notion of him getting a post breakup haircut. She can tell he is exhausted and possibly a little bit drunk. She guesses it's a good thing he isn't staggering on his feet. His alcohol tolerance must be through the roof. But he looks good in a blue plaid shirt and dark washed jeans. She rolls her eyes that none of the bikers really dressed up outside of Opie, but it works for them – him.

She's was surprised that she was even invited to the wedding.

She's always been friendly to Opie. They haven't spoken much since their lives were separated from high school, but he remembers her. They're able to make simple small talk. He promises to change the oil in her car and check out the squeaking noise her brakes make if he stops by the diner or they pass each other in Charming.

With Donna, the two of them have become closer because of circumstance. Both of them are attending tech school to become dental hygienist and they have begun to form some relationship. They manage to stop for coffee before or after class and sometimes make study dates.

She finds that Donna is a much better fit for Opie than her friend Payton ever could be. Donna is smart, more serious, and level headed. A good match for the quiet and reserved Opie.

The wedding itself is a small reserved crowd. It also happens that it's one of the warmer days in California during the winter. They are on one of Oswald's properties that carters to events like this. Surrounded by a redwood forest and a small lake that they could go on a riverboat to cruise on, but Opie and Donna decide to stay on the mainland. They are getting married under a gazebo surrounded by a combination of blue and white bouquet of hydrangeas, peonies, roses, ranunculus, and anemones, fairy lights and mini reapers. The reception will take place in the banquet hall that adjoins the property.

Although as she looks at all the bikers surrounding the altar the Reaper plastered on everything, she hopes this world doesn't consume Donna. She frowns slightly and shakes her head as she shouldn't be so negative. She doesn't know any of them and she tried not to let rumors affect how she viewed people. Donna seems happy with Opie and Opie is most certainly in love with Donna. And as she focuses back to the vows being exchanged she finds a pair of steely blue eyes pinned on her.

…

Aubrey thinks she should've brought a date even if it happened to be her mother as she barely knows anyone at the wedding. There are some friends from high school she catches up with, but for the most part it's people in leather, leather, and more leather. She feels like the odd man out. More like a carcass dead on the side of the road as men clad in leather with different cities sewn on their kutte flock to her. It's almost like they never seen a woman before. Or it could be that they are severely bored with their pick of pussy they brought as dates. Some were sweet, respectful, and others were brash and forward. Clearly these men were used to women doing as they were told.

She finds it better to seek refuge at the bar. Although, she is mindful not to consume so much.

Everyone seems to be having a good time especially husband and wife as they dance. Even though she is happy for Donna, Aubrey can't imagine being married so young. She hasn't even gotten to live her life yet. Doesn't really know what she wants out of life and she wasn't about to saddle down with someone who would be expecting things out of her. So she sips on her drink slowly and wonders when it would be a good respectful time to leave when she finds a glass of Jameson sliding in front of her.

Turning in her seat, she finds her personal space taken over by the one and only Jackson Teller. She raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn't say anything. He knows he is invading her space, but the smile on his face gets wider as he drags his seat closer to her before sitting in it.

"Didn't take you for a whiskey girl?" He starts.

"Really? And pray tell what does it look like I would usually drink?" She says as she flashes him an over exaggerated smile.

"Screwdriver," he answers plainly, which causes her to let out a snort. Although she does enjoy those on occasion, she liked something a little thicker.

She takes a slow measured slip of her whiskey and appreciates the burn and how it warms her tummy. "You look good." He tells her.

"I thought we agreed cheesy lines didn't work on me," she says as she looks down at her green spaghetti strap maxi dress with a slit over her left leg that stops dangerously high on her hip. She paired her outfit with black heels. It was a simple outfit and when her eyes find his, like most men from tonight, they are glued to the exposed leg.

"Just statin' the truth darlin'," he tells her smoothly as he slams back his drink and motions for the bartender for another one.

"Well you're a lot more respectful than some of the other men here," she lets slip pass her lips.

She watches as he tenses and his eyes snaps to hers with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Really now? What they do?"

Aubrey watches a look take over in Jax's eyes. She decides she is not about to be the start of some brawl and after all she doesn't know biker etiquette and she feels some of them had broken something.

"It's nothing I couldn't handle Jax," she says. In a way to distract him, she turns to face him in her seat. She sits up a little straighter, "You clean up well yourself," she starts and she narrows her eyes playfully. "Although it would have been interesting to see you in a suit."

"Which suit we talking about?" He asks cheekily and she sighs internally that whatever was going on in his head as disappeared.

"Your bathing suit of course." She replies in mock horror. "What are you talking about?"

Jax flashes her as smile and she responds back to one of her own as chuckles leave their throats.

She thinks that he probably hasn't smiled like this in a while or at the very least no one is walking around on eggshells around him.

They sip on their drinks quietly; he asks some questions about what she has been up to since graduation. They are interrupted a few times as Jax is brought in a few small chats as men approach him. She notices Jax is known by many and he gets a lot of remarks about looking like his dad. She remembers that his father started the club he is in and the tragic motorcycle accident he was in. And she wonders how he handles that pressure of solidifying a legacy without feeling the crushing weight of it.

He introduces her to most of the men. Most of the faces blur as one patch seems to be interchangeable to the next one. But she does try to at least remember important ones like Presidents or Vice Presidents even if she knows she probably won't see these men ever again. She feels like an interloper as the guys all seem to be having a silent conversation amongst each other as they would look at her and then back at Jax before introducing themselves. But she doesn't question it; in fact she doesn't say much when they speak with Jax.

"You staying for a little bit longer?" He asks as he finishes off his fifth glass of whiskey since he sat down. She is still working on the second one he bought her.

"Why?" She asks as she finishes her glass.

He doesn't say anything as he places an hundred dollar bill along with a fifty on the table, which does more than cover hers and his tab. His ringed hand comes out and she finds herself placing her hand in his and before she knows it she is on the dance floor for the first time that night with a cover band singing a sweet rendition of "Sweet Child O Mine".

…

She knows she shouldn't be surprised, but she is when Jax walks through the doors of Lumpy's. She highly suspects Donna must have let it slipped that she worked there. She is in the middle of reading her chemistry book when he slides into her section. It's been a few weeks since the wedding and she hadn't heard from him since their dance. Back from her romantic, but short honeymoon, Donna had immediately asked her about it and Aubrey had written it off as Jax was the only person she knew there.

As she approaches him, he looks better than he did at the wedding. He seems to be growing out his buzz cut and his skin looks tan and his eyes are bright. But the smile he flashes her, his lips pulled, exposing all his teeth, as he appraises her in her work uniform, which consists of black shorts and a shirt stamped with Lumpy's across it, she knows she's in trouble.

…

It's the beginning of a routine she realizes. At first she doesn't think anything of it as he stops by a couple times a week. After all, the windows of the diner don't hide anything and anyone passing by can see everyone and everything. Yet after a couple weeks, she comes to realize that Jax has somehow gotten her work schedule considering she had asked if he came on her days off and he didn't. She knows he didn't get it from Donna.

She doesn't say anything though. Aubrey finds herself enjoying his company. And she has come to look forward to his visits as she works delivering hot plates.

They talk about school and he seems confused on why she didn't take the chance to leave Charming. To explore what the world could offer her outside of their little town. And she realizes that Jax expects everyone to feel a hatred or reluctant acceptance of Charming and its few opportunity they rarely sprout. But she explains softly that Charming is her home and she doesn't need to see the world. She doesn't want to. She can see it in his eyes that he doesn't believe her, but he wants to.

So he'll switch the topics to her few friends she keeps in contact with from high school. Most have gone out of state or out of town to college. Some stayed like her and are attending a tech school. But most entered the workforce getting a job through one of Oswald's' factories or at their families small owned business. He even surprises her by asking about her parents. Her parents are known to be a little eccentric. She thinks they are some warped bohemian hippies. Her dad still wears the occasional bellbottoms and drives neighbors crazy with their chicken coop. Her dad is a retired firefighter although he still manages to volunteer for most of his days when he isn't driving all around northern Cali looking for antiques to refurbish. Her mom is a Sex Therapist with an office only a few blocks from the diner itself. She used to be the butt of a lot of jokes because of her mom's career and she is surprised that Jax has yet to make a joke about it. She even tells him about her very large extended family and how she has 40 cousins alone and that's not counting her 40 cousins kids. But she's close to her parents and Jax can see that and they both seem to understand the importance of family.

It is what makes it easier for her to ask him about his own family. He talks frequently how his mom is meddlesome, but means well. He jokes that she doesn't realize that he isn't a baby anymore that needs his ass wiped. He mentions in passing how he is still trying to get used to Clay being his step-father despite it being five years since his father's passing, she can tell he still struggles with it. Even more so how his mom had married relatively quick and moved onto one of his dad's best friends. Aubrey thinks it's even more complicated as not only is this man his step-father, but the President to the club he is in.

She learns that he works at the garage, which isn't surprising, as he complains about some customers and how they ruin their vehicles. She jokes that if they didn't he would be out of business.

However, she doesn't realize how much she looks forward to his visits when he disappears for a few days. She knows he'll be gone when she watches the rally of bikes, with him in the back, leave Charming. She finds those days the hardest as somehow he had wiggled into her routine and into her system. She's left to deal with the fact the town seems to be aware of them being friends. She's at the center of town gossip something she isn't used too.

It's after another one of these trips, he comes back from road weary and clearly exhausted during her graveyard shift she asks about the club. He indulges her with heavily edited answers, but she can tell he likes that she even considered asking as his face lights up as he talks about Piney, Opie's dad, was was his sponsor, Chibs, and Bobby.

He speaks with pride and determination, as he tells her that one day he will lead the club like his own father did.

But through all that, he still flirts with her.

He always greets her with a cheesy pickup line that she doesn't know where he even learned it from. He always compliments her despite smelling like grease and coffee with a sweaty hairline. She knows his eyes always trail her legs when she serves other customers. It doesn't matter if she is in jeans or shorts. But it's harmless flirting and probably tame compared how he would seriously approach other girls.

Sometimes she falls into the trap willingly.

She can't help but tease him and fall into an easy banter. Every now and then he makes it so easy for her and he gives her a confidence she didn't know she had when it came to snaring men.

However, even though he leaves her a $20 tip every time for a simple $10 meal and a blinding smile, she knows better than to get tangled up with him.

…

She's surprised it isn't until it warms its mid-way into summer that she and Jax finally encounter each other for the time, outside of the diner, at Fun Town.

Fun Town was the one festival in Charming that most kids looked forward to every year for the summer season. It was one of the main attractions that would attract a few tourists that it seemed the SONS were comfortable with.

Her Mom's sister, Annalise, along with her older cousin, Heidi, has come down to visit from Oregon and she's being pulled to twenty different rides by her cousin's babies.

The kids want to practice their aim hitting the clown to make him fall in the dunk tank. Aubrey personally finds it a pointless game. She doesn't understand the thrill of it, but she obliges her cousins. However as they reach the game, it seems other people have beaten them to it when it comes to making the clown wet as she watches Jax and his friends forcefully dunk the man in there as he pleads for them to stop.

Her cousins look horrified and she's unsure of what is going on. It's not like she is worried about them drowning a grown man, but she doesn't' really want her cousins to see this and she's shocked that this isn't causing more of a scene.

"Uh, guys, I don't think this is how the game is played." She ends up saying after she clears her throat.

She watches as the men freeze comically with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Her eyes find Jax whose look of surprise turns into amusement as he hops off the stand and swaggers towards her.

His fellow patches follow.

He's quick to introduce her to his brothers. She meets Chibs, the Scotsman with a Glasgow smile. She turns red in embarrassment after one of her cousins says he has a smile like the Joker. Thankfully he only laughs it off. Bobby, better known as Bobby Elvis for his Elvis impersonation, is quick to do a quick impression of the Fallen King. Tig is next, who has no problem in undressing her with his crazy blue eyes, and then a Prospect they call Half Sack. She doesn't question the name.

She finds them to be sweet, a little too sweet, but their demeanor contrast with the harsh stereotype the town has bestowed on them.

She isn't stupid or naïve. She knows these men live in an area of gray. They have their own set of morals that rubs against how most law abiding citizens live. She knows these men are capable of many things as the town has documented various raids on the clubhouse and some of the ensuing arrests. She even remembers how for a time there was serious talks about how to remove the MC from Charming around the time Jax's father passed away. But even if these men are capable of things like murder, fraud, and gun running before any of that they are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, and simply men. She thinks people forget about what's hidden beneath the leather kuttes they wear.

And they seem fine in meeting a new face. They banter and Chibs teases Jax for hiding her away as if she lived in an ivory tower. And she laughs and smiles with them as if these men were simply her uncles or cousins. Jax ends up giving up his remaining tickets to her cousins winning their affection as if he really needed to try.

But their conversation comes to an end as he is called away by a guy with a Mohawk.

When he leaves, his hand burns her waist and her cheek still tingles from the brisk kiss.

She should've known that her younger cousins would tell her family about the bikers who were drowning the clown. Luckily her parents and family find it amusing. Her mom and dad don't send her pointed looks for possibly associating with the club. Of course as she picks at her funnel cake, Heidi manages to break away from her kids to join her at a picnic table.

"They said he give you a kiss?" Her cousin asks with a sparkle in her eyes like an adolescent receiving a piece of ripped notebook paper from their crush.

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "It was on the cheek." She admits as there is no point in lying.

Her cousin looks at her knowingly before she takes a sip of her Pepsi. Her cousin was only 25 and already had four kids with possibly a fifth on the way if the way she has eaten gives any indication.

Aubrey comes from a big family on both sides. Both of her parents are one of eight. And her family always found it peculiar that she was the only child between her parents. She knows the family is banking on her to pick up her parents slack.

She looks at her cousin with narrowed eyes. "What? It was completely innocent and friendly."

"Those ones are the most dangerous."

…

A few weeks later her mom sets her up with a local church boy. Apparently her cousins had made a point that she needs to dip in the dating pool. After all, it's been at least a year since she last was dating someone. She knows her mom means well, but she finds that it's never a good idea to let your parents set you up on a date.

But she goes and tries to have a good time. His name is Billy with dirty blonde hair slicked back and an easy smile that holds some crooked teeth. He's not bad looking. In fact, in high school she probably would have fooled around him if it weren't for the fact that he is boring.

His voice is too low and he tries to be smooth, but his lines come out like a flat joke. Not once has he really asked about her. She had to listen to him regale about his high school lacrosse team and how he lost to be Homecoming King. And the worst of it all, as she listens to him, she finds that his blonde hair isn't a golden sun kissed hue. The eyes aren't blue with a grey rim. The voice isn't smooth or holds a cocky edge. And she it hits her that she is comparing Billy to Jax like some obsessed teenager and she feels like a fool.

She's glad after dinner that he needs to stop for gas. She needs a minute to herself and really wants a cigarette. She regrets making the decision to quit. She's wondering how to let him down easy when hands wrap around her waist. She tries to feel something – anything. But it makes her stomach turn in protest and he smells like the onions and garlic he ate instead of leather and sandalwood.

"I'm sorry, but I would really like to go home." She tells him softly.

Instead, his arms tighten a fraction and she knows he doesn't take rejection well. But thankfully he releases his arms with a bitter laugh.

"So what I was just a free meal then huh?"

Aubrey steps back and moves down the car near the truck, closer to the store. "It was just a date, Billy. Nothing more. I had a good time –"

"Save it," he snaps. "I should've known you would be a teasing bitch."

Aubrey's jaw clenches and she wishes to be able to slap him in the face. If looking bored and in pain seemed like she was interested, she was about to knock this man down a few pegs. But then as she looks around in the seemingly deserted gas stop with only a semi on the lot, she decides to pick her battles. After all, she is in some mini dress and heels. She takes a deep breath and thinks it would be best to call a cab. She reminds herself to start driving herself on first dates to avoid this again.

"How about you just go." She suggests. "I'll call a cab." She adds and tries to make a hasty exit.

She goes to walk away, but she a bruising grip latches onto her forearm and Billy whips her back.

"I'm not done with you yet." He growls.

"Let me go," she tells him with narrowed eyes.

His grip becomes tighter and she bites her lip to stop from crying out as he eyes her down. "Let's go."

Aubrey tries to plant herself into the ground, but her heels make it hard as she stumbles slightly. "Stop! Let me go, asshole!" She yells as she fights to remove her arm as he tries to drag her to the passenger seat.

"Hey!"

At first she thinks it's him yelling at her.

"Hey, asshole!" The voice yells again.

But it's not Billy yelling as he freezes as the voice gets nearer. Aubrey realizes she knows that voice. Aubrey takes the advantage and rips her arm out of Billy's grip and puts a lot of distance between them. She looks over to find Jax with a deadly look on his face and she realizes she had seen a fraction of this before at the wedding.

"Aubrey, you okay?"

She goes to open her mouth, but Billy beats her too it. "She's fine."

Jax whips his head to Billy and she's surprised Billy doesn't cower, but puffs up his chest. "I wasn't asking you, dickhead."

"I'm fine, Jax." She tells him mostly because she doesn't want to make an even bigger scene.

She knows he doesn't believe her, but he doesn't press it. "You need a ride?"

Aubrey doesn't bother looking over a Billy as her response is walking closer to Jax.

Billy scoffs from behind her. "I should've known you probably fucked him. Dirty biker who-"

Aubrey squeaks in surprise as Jax surprises both her and Billy with a solid shot to the face bringing Billy down to the ground moaning in pain.

Jax doesn't seem too concern about retaliation from Billy as he only leads her to his bike that was hidden behind the semi and hands her his helmet.

…

"You sure your parents won't mind me dropping you off," Jax voices to her as he pulls into the driveway. He had offered to drop her off a block away for fear of her parents and neighbors, but she assured him he was fine. One, she was an adult and two, her parents wouldn't care and she certainly didn't care what her neighbors had to say about her.

"I'm sure," she tells him.

"How are your parents?" He asks as he parks his bike and turns it off.

"Saving for their next vacation. Apparently they want to go to Bali." She informs him. "How's your mom?"

"Whatever you heard is probably true," he tells her as he stands so she can get off his bike.

Aubrey laughs as she hears a lot about Gemma Teller-Morrow, but she doubts half of it is true. She's pretty sure most things are coated in exaggerations.

Aubrey stands in front of him and she's glad the moonlight can hide some of her blush as he candidly checks her out in her outfit. Of course his eyes are glued to her legs before they trail back up. However, she notices his eyes linger on her red forearm and they harden.

She distracts him as she unclips his helmet and hands it too him, "Thanks for the ride. I think I owe you a free meal on the house."

"It was no trouble, darlin'." He replies as he grips the helmet. "Do I want to know how you got saddled with Billy boy there?"

Aubrey shrugs her shoulders. "Mom set me up with it. Thought I would appease. Been awhile."

"Been awhile 'eh?" Jax repeats with a smirk that has her rolling her eyes.

"Goodnight, Jax," she replies as she goes to walk away.

"Hey, wait," he calls out as he grabs her hand. Unlike Billy, he doesn't grip it. His hold is lax as she can easily slip away; it's more of a caress.

Aubrey turns back and looks at him with raised eyebrows.

She sees him nibbling on his lip before he runs his hand through his growing hair.

"Can I kiss you?"

She blinks and blinks again almost left speechless at the question. The fact he even asked her throws her off. He didn't deliver it as a smooth pick up line or guessed for the answer by placing his lips on her and waited to see if she responded. He didn't coat it in his usual cockiness and swagger. Instead, the question was laced in uncertainty and maybe a bit of insecurity.

And she knows that she should say no. Reject him softly as she tried to do Billy. Considering how Billy acted the last thing she wanted was to deal with men. Yet, it's Jax.

Just Jax.

The two of them under the moonlight in their own little world.

After all, what can be so harmful about one simple kiss?

So she nods her head and she can see some of the tension leave his shoulders – his stomach. His hand on her wrist slides up her arm leaving goosebumps in it's wake. He tugs her forward as his hand reaches her shoulder and traces her clavicle. His thumb caresses the pulse point in her neck. He leans forward slowly as their noses slightly bump causing them both to chuckle nervously.

He leans forward and their lips meet. His lips are softer than she imagined, but there is a roughness there from them being slightly chapped. The kiss is fairly simple. Just the pressing of lips, they don't make moves to deepen it even as both of his hands cup her face and she surges forward chest bumping against his.

The kiss doesn't last very long either as she pulls back and his thumb begins caressing her cheek.

"Goodnight, Jax," she tells him with a smile as he replies with one of his own.

His hands drop from her cheeks as she backs away. "Goodnight, Aubrey." He tells her as he straps on his helmet.

He doesn't leave until she walks through the door.

…

Her lips still tingle the days following the kiss. She finds herself tracing over her lips as she thinks about him. From his smile, laugh, the way he is never ashamed to trail his eyes over her. She thinks it's ridiculous that she may be forming a crush over Jackson Teller as most girls have done in Charming.

She's almost relieved that her next scheduled shift at the diner is Monday. It gives her a whole two days to try and kill this silly little infatuation. She of course had to tell her parents what happened as there was slight bruising on her arm. Her mom was furious and apologetic she would even consider setting her up with a man like that. Her dad was livid as he threatened to beat the living shit out of the boy. And she had to reveal that Jax came in like Prince Charming and save the day. She finds herself a little bit annoyed that she was made a damsel, but revealing how Jax helped her seems to appease her parents a little that someone was able to be there for her.

And despite her not mentioning the kiss, she can tell her parents know that something happened. But they don't press trusting her to come forward when she's ready.

So instead she decides to visit her friend Payton, who is back for the summer. Payton can't wait to tell her about college and all it entails.

Aubrey is slightly worried that her friend is partying more than studying. But Payton seems happy and she has a feeling her friend won't return to Charming after her four years and she will need to go somewhere for her Master's for occupational therapy.

And as her friend rambles on, she realizes she has nothing to really tell her friend. Nothing really happens in Charming. She goes to school, work, and attends local fairs and festival the same as always. Unlike her friend's promiscuous ways, Aubrey doesn't have any men in her life. Unless she considers Jax.

So Sunday she spends the day in bed. She's going to be turning 21 soon and she has no idea where her life is going. She knows she doesn't plan on marriage or babies anytime soon, but she knows she needs to make steps to figuring out who she is.

So she decides it may be time to move out of her parents' house.

And Monday, after successfully avoiding all thoughts of Jax, despite her fingers subconsciously tracing her lips, she's nervous. Her stomach is in knots and she finds herself always looking at the door or waiting for the sound to hear his bike.

Aubrey thinks a boy has never made her feel this way. And she has had a decent amount of boyfriends and flings. But they were always mutual and pretty straight forward. But this is something different. Other boys before weren't Jax. Jax was different from the rest and she didn't know if it was because of the leather on his back or him or maybe just a strange combination of both.

But after a few hours, she finds herself pathetic when he still doesn't show. She decides it's more important to focus on earning tips and to get a head start on some homework.

She's engrossed in her book that details the anatomy of the mouth when she jumps when hands touch both sides of her waist.

She gasps from fright as her hand slams into her chest. Her heart is beating wildly as the hands tighten before she hears a low deep chuckle from behind.

She growls in annoyance as she removes herself from Jax's grip as she levels him with a stank eye. His grin only stretches wider as he does his familiar once over of her.

"What's your section, darlin'?" He asks.

And Aubrey thinks she might hate him a little as she knows he knows that she can't stop thinking about Friday night, the kiss, and him. She doesn't need anything else inflating his ego. But she can't help the reluctant smile that takes over her features at the sight of him.

She doesn't even mind it when she leads him to a table how his hand finds the small over her back.

…

They don't talk about the kiss. Don't talk about the ramifications of it despite it already affecting how they interact with each other. They are both aware of the energy between. She can feel it when he places kisses on her cheek dangerously close to her lips and how she leans into them. They aren't afraid to touch each other either. He isn't afraid to outline her body with his fingers or wrap his arms around her.

She isn't afraid to seek him out either. She's not afraid to grab his jeweled fingers. She is bold when she runs her fingers through his growing hair. And some days she finds herself playing with the edge of his kutte or traces his flashes, the meaning behind them she'll probably never know.

And she realizes he'll never mention the kiss because he's waiting on her. He already made the first move the rest is up to.

So instead he offers her rides to places. Mostly to and from work. But sometimes he'll take her for a ride through Charming using routes she never did. She finds herself enjoying being on the back of his bike. She likes the wind blowing through her hair and how fast sometimes he goes. It feels free on the road. Peaceful. It's also nice to be able to wrap her arms around him and lay her head against his back.

And tonight he takes her all the way to the streams right on the border of the Wahewa.

Somehow he knows about a hidden cove and she does her best not to think about him bringing other girls here. Instead she focuses on the beauty of it and how it remains untouched by anything other than Mother Nature. Jacob Hale hasn't managed to get his grubby hands on it, which is a plus.

She strips off her socks and shoes and dips them in the warm water.

Jax joins her as he rolls up his jeans and sticks his feet in it.

They're quiet, but the silence is attentive. She finds it weird that Jax is alright with silence as other men couldn't stand it and often used their own voices to fill the void. Yet, Jax doesn't mind it.

A little while later, he takes her out of the cove and to a raspberry bush and they find a spot to munch on them as their feet dry.

"My dad has a raspberry bush in our backyard," she tells him as she looks at her stained fingers.

"Doesn't he sell some of the stuff he grows? I know my mom gets eggs from him." Jax tells her.

"Depends on if he got overzealous in planting."

Jax nods his head. "You a green thumb like him?"

"Depends what I'm trying to grow but I wouldn't mind a garden of my own someday." She tells him. "I'd have to find a place first."

"You've been looking?"

She gave him a noncommittal shrug. "I've been saving up. But I think it's time for my own place."

Jax nods his head and gives her a smile and she finds herself being fed raspberries.

…

She isn't surprised that only a couple of days later that Jax informs her that Floyd, the local barber, has a one bedroom apartment above his shop she can rent.

The apartment is nice and affordable as he is only charging her $300 bucks a month. Yet, it's obvious that no one has lived here since the 70s with the retro flock wallpaper along with the layers of dust that infects the place. But it's nice. Something that is temporarily hers for the time being. And she loves it even with the blast from the past appliances. It gives it character.

Somehow on her moving day, Jax has recruited Opie into moving her meager belongings to the small apartment. She doesn't question it as she is grateful for the help and it will make the move much quicker. She repays them in beer and pizza and she has to fight both Jax and Opie on letting her pay for the pizza.

A few hours in, Donna comes by with a nice gift of a key and mail rack and whisks Opie away.

By then most of her boxes are all opened and scattered from her haphazard unpacking. She has forced Jax to take a break while she finishes the kitchen. Her plan was to fully unpack her bedroom, but considering Jax and Opie were there she had to keep the beer cold and it was easier to be out in the open to direct.

And she doesn't realize she had so much kitchen shit. She growls for the 20th time in frustration as she tries to figure out how to organize her cabinet space. Jax calls out for her from the living room a few feet away.

"Just let me finish this, Jax," she tells him as pots and pans clang together.

"You need a break, darlin'," he replies. "Those boxes aren't going anywhere."

Aubrey nibbles on her lip as she would like for at least one room to be done.

"Aubrey," he calls out again and she realizes he was never asking her. He was telling her and it rubs her slightly that he thinks he can order her around, but for now she will appease him. After all, he did help her out tremendously.

She wipes the sweat off her forehead as she knows she is going to have to invest in an air conditioner. She walks over into her small living room where Jax is sitting.

Her parents had bought her a nice living room set from Ikea that included a couch, rug, coffee table, entertainment stand along with a '65 inch TV from Best Buy. Thinking about her parents she was kind of sad moving out. Her mom couldn't stop the waterworks despite the drive to her apartment was only like 15 minutes.

She joins Jax on the couch and puts a considerable distance between them. After all, she smells like sweat and dust. Her skin is still coated in a sheen of sweat.

She folds her legs underneath herself as she plays with the pillows on her couch, "Thanks for helping me out."

"It was no problem," he tells her as he leans back on her couch and throws his arm on the back of it.

They are quiet as they watch TV and listen to the local Charming News, which details another fundraiser for the town's garden to save it from Hale. But considering nothing happens in Charming it soon turns to details about Stockton, Lodi, and Oakland. Unlike the SONS, other crews are very public about their activity. Aubrey doesn't it find it very smart.

Jax drains his beer quietly besides her and is quiet as he takes in all the information, but she takes these 30 minutes to admire him. Thankfully he had put his shirt back on as he had kept it off as he moved boxes. She got to see his very large back tattoo on full display. She wondered if it hurt when he got it considering how defined his muscles were. And she wasn't surprised that he was in shape with his six pack and she tried her best to not let her eyes linger for too long. After all, his ego was inflated enough she didn't want to contribute to it.

As she sits there she wonders though how it would feel to run her fingers through his hair and along his skin. The feel of his stubble across her skin as his fingers follow. She scolds herself as she writes this off as to not getting laid for a while.

He places his empty beer bottle on the boxes stacked next to him and his blue eyes find her green ones. "Why are you so far away darlin'?" He asks lowly.

She shrugs her shoulders and as a response her hand curls around her ankle and he pulls her towards him causing her to release a squeak.

Soon her back is on the cushions and Jax is hovering over her. His blue eyes are sparkling as he looks down at her as he fits snuggly between her thighs. Any teasing in his face is gone though as her hands cup his face and trace his jaw and lips.

And she knows she should push him off. She's annoyed that such a position already has her a little bit damp. His hands aren't anywhere near her though as his forearms frame her face. In reality, nothing of his is pressed against her. The only thing she can feel is his heat.

Despite him being the one that had dragged her down and making his intention clear, she is the one who leans in first.


	3. (Doo Wop) That Thing

Aubrey and Jax have started a weird sort of thing. She is unsure to call it a relationship as they both haven't voiced any commitments to each other. Although she is starting to think friends with benefits or fuck buddy might be applicable. She is pretty sure on the outside people have clearly labeled it as that, but she knows what they are is more than that. They're a thing and she thinks she's okay with that.

However in the weeks that followed the night she moved into her place, Jax has a key to her home and a space in her dressers. And more often than not, she wakes up with him sliding into bed late at night. His arms would wrap around her and he would sleep or sometimes insistent kisses would wake her up that would always lead to more and he would help her fall asleep again.

In the mornings, she would make him breakfast and ask about his night or day. Hell she was even washing his clothes and buying him things for her place. In the evenings, she would make dinner and he would even help with the dishes. Afterwards, they would watch TV either it be a movies, TV show, or the news. Most night – every night – he would put her to bed. It was all very domestic for something they weren't making the moves to define.

She didn't even know if she wanted to define it. But this thing they had was a routine.

If they made the moves to make this something more – to label it – it meant calling attention to the things they both choose to ignore. She never makes comments on how he will disappear for days mostly with no warning. If she doesn't catch him packing things from her place, she doesn't know he is leaving. Sometimes she is bothered by the disappearing act. She doesn't need to know where he is going, but it would be nice to know that he is going somewhere. But she assumes Jax isn't used to having to answer to someone. Likes the freedom to do as he pleases and sometimes she thinks he might not even be out of Charming. He could be at the clubhouse doing God's know what. She usually gets her answer if he comes back and sleeps for 12 hours.

But when he doesn't sleep like he has slipped into a coma, she isn't stupid. She may not be immersed in the Life and just because she seems to be a constant bed partner for Jax she knows that most likely she isn't the only one.

She knows it comes to the territory with the life he leads. She knows that Life is filled with women on a platter for them just like she knows Feds are a constant threat to the men.

For the sake of her own peace of mind, she doesn't ask about the other women that keep him company. It wasn't as if he was throwing them in her face. If she wanted to be naïve she might believe he wasn't sleeping with anyone.

But he had a life she couldn't find the courage to ask about and at this point was fine in not knowing.

She had her own life outside of him too. Just like she wasn't going to make the first move he wasn't either. So he doesn't ask her where she goes on weekends when he's gone or when she thinks he is. Sometimes there are weekend trips to visit Payton at college and experience some college partying. She attends a few frat parties with no thought of consequences. And after a night of partying and she finds him sitting on her couch watching TV, he doesn't question how drinks weren't the only things her lipstick stained.

It's weird as she used to be a girl that valued fidelity. She knows that she still does, but she and Jax aren't normal. Sure she enjoys his company and is a great lay, but she's young and being with him means accepting responsibilities – burdens – she doesn't want to consider. She doesn't want to tackle them on. And right now what they are works for them, but she knows eventually it's not.

A few months later, they are eating a small breakfast of cereal and toast. She had worked 2nd shift at the diner the previous night and Jax had coming strolling in her place an hour later. She is surprised that he isn't sleeping for 12 hours as she hadn't seen him in two days.

And she can tell he is tired as he slowly eats and his eyes are red and bleary.

"Jax, you need to go back to sleep." She tells him softly.

He looks up at her and smiles as he shakes his head. "Nah, I can survive a couple more minutes. I wanted to see you before you left for school."

Her heart flutters slightly as she gives him a smile as she finishes her bowl of cereal. "So anything happen while I was gone?" He asks her before he drinks the milk of out his own bowl before he grabs her to finish it.

She shakes her head. "Just the usual, but I was invited to Donna's baby shower." She informs him.

Jax doesn't seem surprised by the news. She doesn't know why he would be as it was common knowledge that she and Donna were friends. As she thinks about it she finds it slightly strange that despite her, Jax, Donna, and Opie all knowing one another they had yet to hang out. With that realization dawning on her she doesn't know why it bothers her so much.

"You going?" He asks her as his blues eyes connect with her green ones.

"Yeah," she replies and her eyes search his for something.

Anything.

She hopes maybe he can see some of her irritation or confusion. The uncertainty of what they mean to each other can be put on the line. And Aubrey has never had this before with another guy. Everything was always so straight forward. Or maybe really she doesn't want to come to the realization that all of this with Jax is all about sex. It's all about the maybes.

…

Aubrey is shocked that the baby shower isn't being thrown at the clubhouse where there is space and is always the go to place for most SAMCRO sanctioned functions. Instead, it's being thrown at Gemma Teller-Morrow's house, the house Jax grew up in.

The house where he took his first steps, learned to talk, eat, laugh, and play. Where Gemma nursed him and groomed him to be the man he was today. She was going into a place that was scared to Jax and fundamental to his being. She was going to get a glimpse of him that he hadn't taken the steps to show her yet.

After all, she is going to be meeting his mother and she can only assume Gemma knows where Jax spends most of his nights these days.

For the first time, in a long time, she feels nervous.

Donna welcomes her with open arms and Aubrey thinks the mother to be looks relieved she had finally arrived.

Before Donna whisks her away to meet people, Aubrey can say she is surprised the place isn't decked out in pink Reapers since Donna is having a girl. Instead, it looks very traditional with hues of pink and grey. Silk flowers decorate the place along with balloons and fancy glassware. There isn't a Reaper in sight.

Aubrey can say that she is surprised that it only took a year and a half for Donna to become pregnant. She knows most people in Charming thought the small brunette had married her because she was pregnant. However as the months passed and no baby bump in sight, Donna had disapproved the notion of a shotgun wedding and proved that she and Opie got married for love. Aubrey thinks Donna got pregnant at the right time as the two of them will be finishing school at the end of spring. Donna will luckily have the baby by then and she knows that she plans to have the summer off before looking for a job. But still Aubrey can't imagine being 21 with a baby and here Donna is married and creating a family.

Donna introduces her to most of the girls there from a April Hobart, the unfortunate woman that Kyle ended up marrying after knocking her up with a kid. Luann Delaney, who owns the local adult entertainment studio, and is married to an Otto Delaney currently in prison. Next she met, Mary Winston, Opie's mother, who didn't seem that thrilled to be in Charming. There were of course some people from high school and school there. And she notices that Donna doesn't go out of her way to introduce some of the young girls that are following Gemma around like servants.

And it's a while before she is formally introduced to Gemma.

Everyone in Charming knows who Gemma Teller-Morrow is. Gemma is the most important citizen and some say the reason why the MC had decided to make its roots in the small town.

She had spoken to Gemma before as she did buy the occasional carton of eggs from her dad and when the biker matriarch would throw her Taste of Charming festivals and they would engage in small talk.

Now this is different.

Aubrey didn't know what Jax was telling his mother about them or his life, but she assumes Gemma knows as she feels her eyes on her for most of the night. Aubrey doesn't hide from the scrutiny either. She keeps her head held high. Besides, it was no secret how involved Gemma was in Jax's life.

It wasn't surprising considering that sadly Gemma had lost Thomas, Jax's younger brother, so young. But it was well known that if someone was seeing Jax they were also seeing his mother. When he was with Tara it was well known that her and Gemma did not get along. Aubrey was slightly confused how Jax even managed to deal with the two women in his life at each other's throats. She would think he would try to make life easier by making them come to a middle – compromise.

So she knows before the party is over and she leaves that there will be an inevitable showdown. And it does happen.

As the party winds down, Aubrey volunteers to stay back and help with the clean-up. Mostly because Donna seems to really want her there and the tiny pregnant brunette doesn't seem to want to be left alone with Gemma or what Donna called croweaters.

Aubrey is in the kitchen drying some dishes when she hears Gemma's heel clank against her hardwood floor.

"Thanks for staying and helping. You didn't have too." Gemma tells her.

Aubrey responds with a smile. "It's no problem glad I could help."

Gemma nods her head as she pulls out a joint. "You mind if a smoke?"

"Your house although the pregnant woman might," Aubrey points out.

"Right." Gemma says as she slides the joint back in her cigarette case. "So where did your parents go this year for their elaborate vacation?"

"Bali. They'll be gone for three weeks."

"Wow. Must be nice with all that money. I bet my son is loving that."

Aubrey licks her lips as she looks up at Gemma, whose dark brown eyes are boring into hers. She suspects most people show fear when it comes to Gemma. They can't hide that they are intimidated. If anything Gemma probably feeds off that and it is how she manages to probably get the upper hand on a lot of things. But Aubrey stands tall and she eyes Jax's mother with a calculating eye.

"It's a good thing I cut my umbilical a long time ago. Besides my parents don't get to dictate who I see, I am capable of making those decisions myself."

"So you're  _seeing_  my son now?" Gemma counters.

"Seeing or fucking, depends which you prefer. Didn't think you would want to know  _that_  detail though."

Gemma's lips tug up, "Must be pretty serious if he stays at your place."

"What can I say? He's a great lay and he likes to cuddle." Aubrey says flashing her teeth. "Who am I to deny him that?"

She watches as an impressed smirk comes across Gemma's face. "You should have my son bring you to the clubhouse Friday night."

Aubrey isn't sure if Gemma is genuine with her request. She only nods her head at Gemma who switches the topic and asks about how school is for her. It's a total switch in tone, but for some reason she feels she might have impressed Gemma a little.

It's late when Jax makes an appearance at her place that night. She's in bed reading a book when he staggers in her room. From the way he is leaning against the doorframe and the easy grin plastered on his face, she can tell he is buzzed.

She has yet to see Jax drunk, but she has heard through the grapevine she is lucky as he is known to be a moody depressed drunk.

So she has only been exposed to the happy flirty buzz he manages to obtain despite copious amounts of alcohol.

Aubrey puts her book down as she looks at him confused. "How in the hell do you managed to get buzzed at a diaper party?"

He shrugs his shoulders as he slides his kutte off.

"So I take it you had fun?" She asks as he walks to the bed.

He doesn't respond as he launches at her and presses a burning kiss to her lips, throat, and chest while he paws at her shirt trying to lift it up. For a moment she allows herself to get lost in the sensation. After all, she wasn't lying to Gemma when she said her son was a great lay. Aubrey was surprised how generous of a lover Jax was and when he was buzzed he was unrestrained. He didn't hold back from her. It was almost scary how intense it could be when he would let loose especially considering the differences in their size and how well Jax was tuned into her body. Jax could make her turn into nothing but a pile of sensation, but he didn't need to be intoxicated to do that.

She thinks she might be a weak bitch for him to only need to kiss her in a few spots to turn her into a puddle.

He only manages to get her shirt up over her chest and he seems satisfied she isn't wearing a bra as he latches onto her hardening rosebuds and his fingers begin toying with her sleep shorts.

But she pushes him back slightly as she wants to talk to him before she loses the courage and she feels slightly guilty as him buzzed has for sure loosened his tongue and she's going to use that to her advantage.

"What's wrong?" He asks breathlessly as his eyes are black with a small rim of blue. Aubrey thinks she should just wait until the morning or maybe afterwards. But she doesn't.

"Your mom invited me to the clubhouse Friday night." She tells him.

His face goes blank and he moves off her and onto his back. He takes a deep breath and swipes a hand down his face that seems to suck out any trace of alcohol in his system. She fixes her shirt as she moves up on the bed and wraps her arms around her legs.

"Are you upset?" She asks quietly. She's worried that she has overstepped some boundary or maybe his mother did. She just knows that her attending one of these parties would change things between them. And she fears that maybe Jax is fine with her being a booty call.

He shakes his head as he stares at the ceiling.

"Do you want me to go?"

Jax sits up and doesn't look at her. "It's not I don't want you to go." He insists. "My life…you're considered an outsider and the last time I brought an outsider in it obviously didn't end well." He explains referencing to Tara. Aubrey doesn't know how she feels about that answer or somehow he feels that she shares some qualities with his ex. Mostly she is insulted that he doesn't trust her enough to be able to make a decision about him – them – on her own ground for her own reasons.

And it hits her that Jax doesn't trust her.

He could feel whatever he did towards her, but none of that mattered if he didn't trust her. It burns her more than she would like as she thinks that she can trust Jax. She trusts him enough that she feels safe with him and allows him in her home.

"Besides," he adds as he faces her and his grabs her ankle as he pulls her down to him and finds his way between her thighs again, "I'm selfish and want you all to myself." And he's oblivious to her inner turmoil as he pumps into her and whispering how she's so sweet and feels so good around him.

But she isn't any better as she lets him and meets his hips thrust to thrust. She's starting to think she likes him more than she should.

Aubrey never attends a clubhouse party.

…

During one of her busier shifts at the diner, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair in a business casual suit approaches her. She almost brushes him off as he stares and smiles at her for far too long as she bustles around him in serving tables. She's irritated when he does sit in a section that isn't hers that he requests her anyways. Her irritation spikes even more when he pulls out a badge stamped with the ATF emblem on it and insists it's a pressing matter. He doesn't even take no for an answer.

The last thing she wants is to lose tips during the lunch rush because of some asshole. However, she decides that it's better to not piss off the government. She's not surprised with the line of questioning. Agent Kohn as he introduces himself is curious about her relationship with the Sons of Anarchy, more specifically Jax Teller.

Aubrey always thought that her heart would pump more fiercely against her chest or she would be sweating if ever faced with the Feds, but it doesn't happen.

And it's not like she even has to lie to the man. She doesn't know about any illegal activity the Sons do. She didn't know shit about Jax's club business. If the Feds are sniffing around the club, they would already know that unless she is getting her oil changed, her feet are never on the lot.

She knows that this ATF agent knows that too. She wonders if the Feds give seminars on sexual harassment as she is close to punching him in the face. He invades her personal space multiple times during his questions and seems to not be able to keep his eyes above her neckline.

He leaves her with a card that she debates on throwing away, but she stuffs it in her apron and goes to finish her shift.

When she goes home she expects Jax will stroll his way in that night. She wouldn't be surprised that the news of a Fed questioning her hadn't already made it's way to him. So she waits. She takes a shower and munches on leftovers from the diner. She debates on calling him. It's rare that they ever do call each other as usually when she needs him he is there and if he wants her he knows where she is at. But he doesn't and it's nearing 7 o'clock and she decides to head to the clubhouse.

As she heads into Buckhead, SAMCRO's corner, and onto the lot, she's surprised by how many people seem to still be there. She spots Gemma's escalade on the lot as well as Jax's bike along with what seems to be every member's in a nice neat line. There are a few people hanging outside that throw her questionable looks, but none approach her. Instead, they whisper into each other's ears and she hates that more than anything. She ignores it as she reaches the door of the clubhouse.

She wasn't sure what she expected.

But her imagination didn't need to stray far to know that the clubhouse would look like a bar as well as a strip club. Aubrey is slightly glad that she didn't come down here in her sweats and actually thought to put on some jean shorts along with a crop top. And she's surprised men even throw her a few glances despite women only clad in their panties are walking around.

She thinks at this point she should have called Jax.

She spots Gemma first who is at the bar grabbing some drinks. Gemma shows clear surprise on her face at her being there.

"What are you doing here, sweetheart?" She asks with a raised eyebrow as she takes in her attire. It's clear she didn't come to party or really impress despite it being enough to turn a few heads.

"I'm looking for Jax." She replies. As soon as the words leave her mouth she spots the blonde biker as a man moves from behind Gemma. Jax is sitting by a wall filled with mug shots as a skinny bleach blonde hangs off him.

Gemma looks back at the scene and back at her, but doesn't say anything. She only shoots her a challenging stare.

Aubrey strolls casually over to Jax, who is all but oblivious to her approach until she is standing before him. His eyes widen a bit, but he masks his surprise completely. Yet, he makes no move to move the skank off him.

She is also aware of Gemma's presence behind her as well as a few eyes waiting to see what happens. It seems despite her not ever coming here people were aware of who she was to Jax.

"I need to talk to you alone." She tells him, their eyes clashing.

Jax doesn't respond. Instead the blonde shank throws a look over her shoulder and sneers at her. "He's occupied honey. Let a real woman take care of Jax."

Aubrey can't hide her blatant shock at the woman and Jax only looks at her challengingly. What's worse is she knows she is being played into a game. She's being tested. Aubrey takes a deep breath. Aubrey has never been in a fight. She's been in a few heated arguments with girls in high school and maybe a shove. But she never has gotten into a physical fight and she wasn't about to get in her first one over a man.

But with her dad being a firefighter, he had made sure she had some self-defense skills. She gives the girl a sweet smile before she grabs the girl by her extensions and pulls her off Jax. The girl screeches as Aubrey brings her down to her knees and pulls her head back as if she is going to punch her. Aubrey is close to doing it, but she isn't about to fight a girl over Jax.

"Next time you think you can talk to me that way, you're going to regret the day your Daddy taught you how to suck dick." She threatens the girl before pushing her forward. She almost cringes as the girl's private are exposed by the micro mini she is wearing sans underwear. Aubrey knows she needs to leave as now she just feels disgusted and repulsed that Jax obviously is fucking these type of the women on the sly.

She turns to him with narrowed eyes as she digs into her pocket and flings the Agent's card at him. "He came to visit me today. Thought you would like to know." She tells him quickly so she can make a quick escape, but it is thwarted by Jax, who grabs her.

And in the back of her mind, she knows better than to make a scene in front of his brothers. It's not even an outlaw thing; it's just a man thing. More so a relationship thing, after all, you never want to air dirty laundry in front of others to wash.

He steps over the blonde girl and takes her into another room with a large table with the club's emblem on and closes the door. She notices none of the man go to aid the girl still shaken up on the floor only other indecently clad woman do. She almost feels sorry for the girl and her anger is now directed towards Jax.

As soon as he closes it and turns around she slaps him - hard.

He clenches his jaw as he looks at her, but he seems to accept that he deserved it. He's lucky all she is doing is slapping him.

It's quiet between them and Aubrey isn't too sure what the fuck she is feeling towards Jax at the moment.

"What he say to you?" He asks tightly as he holds the card up. It seems business comes before personal matters.

"Don't worry I didn't say anything. It's not like I know anything anyway. You've kept me in the your perfectly encased bubble wrap." She counters as she moves to go to the door, but Jax blocks her.

His voice is small – remorseful. "Bre?"

" _What_?"

"We need to talk about –"

"No we don't." Aubrey grinds out. She doesn't want to dissect this. She doesn't want to even acknowledge it and worse of all she thinks she might cry. Not because of the fact she is hurt, but for the fact she had allowed this to go one for so long under her nose especially in Charming. She feels stupid for allowing him into her place and life. Stupid for caring. The worst is everyone seems to know about her and she knows none of them. They know he goes home to her after fucking his whores and she wonders why. Why even waste her time if he had side pieces that were willing and waiting.

"Go back to fucking your whores, Jax." She tells him as she opens the door and leaves.

…

Jax thankfully keeps his distance. He never calls or shows up, but his things are still at her place. Yet, it's been weeks since their encounter at the Clubhouse and not one encounter. Yet, she does notice how Opie or some of his club's member always stop by during her shift. She doesn't know why and doesn't care to ask.

Instead, she focuses on school and she can't believe it's been nearly two years since she graduated high school and she's almost done with her dental hygienist certification. In a few weeks she's graduating. But through her work and school, she still finds herself missing Jax for some god forsaken reason.

And she hates it, him, and herself for it.

Hates that he somehow wormed his way into her and her life.

She doesn't like she misses waking up into his arms. His smile and when he laughs it almost sounds like Goofy to her if it's a real belly laugh. Hates she misses watching him give himself diabetes with how much sugar he put into his coffee. She even misses the lingering smell of his cigarette and motor oil on her sheets.

It's utterly pathetic in her head.

But she decides this distance – space – may be for the best. Jax lives a life she may never understand.

Nonetheless the distance and silence become too much.

Jax isn't the only man in Charming and she spends the following weeks pursing other options.

The first is Steve Graham, a boy at the tech school studying to become a welder. He's nice and sweet. Tall, blue eyes, and brown hair. But she finds him too stiff a little bit boring yet it isn't surprising considering he comes from a strict Roman Catholic family. His mother practically called her a whore for showing her ankles.

Next comes Richard, a boxer who trains at Lumpy's gym, he's a little bit serious with no sense of humor, but she doesn't mind. They only last three weeks as he can't help himself from asking her for nudes when he wakes up in the morning and before he goes to sleep at night. She wasn't ashamed to send him her mom's information to help with his apparent addiction.

After him, she takes a break from the dating scene as she graduates along with Donna from school. She finally gets a taste of Freedom from school and as a present, she and her parents go to Disneyland. Luckily, it coincides with a small bash Donna was throwing for her graduation. The last thing she wants is to run into Jax.

After that, she turns 22, and heads to visit Payton for a change of scenery and a new hunting ground. After a night of drinking, she ends up plastered and hooking up with a hot British guy. She's a little embarrassed the morning after when she realizes the blonde long hair, blue eyes, and fair skin is quiet similar to a certain someone.

Her next few dates are step up by her mother. One is with a boy named Dustin. He's dark and a little chubby, but makes her laugh as he aspires to be a comedian. In the end, they decide to remain friends.

Following Dustin, she meets Eric, tall and dark with brown eyes. He has just moved to Charming and works for Hale as an accountant. He's smart and says all the right things, but a little pushy and after the third date of him trying to come into her place she breaks things off.

Mitchell, works at the local butcher's shop, was kind at first, but couldn't stop asking her questions about Jax and once she found him going through her phone she promptly ended that and changed her locks.

Following Mitchell, she meets Carter, a local firefighter, and she really likes him. She met him through her dad. He's mixed with deep green eyes and a blinding smile. She makes sure with him they go on dates on the edge of Charming or in places the club doesn't have tight bonds with. He takes her to the Museums, amusement parks, and right now they are on their official fifth date at the drive in watching  _Titanic_  of all movies when her phone begins to buzz wildly and is informed Donna is having her baby. Finally as Donna is induced at 42 weeks.

She doesn't think anything of it to have Carter tag along to St. Thomas. Donna has met him once as he was passing by when she and Donna were having lunch. If anything she was thinking about asking to see if Opie and Donna wanted to double.

It isn't until she gets into the waiting room, reserved for family and friends, that she sees Jax in almost four months. He's eyes widen at the sight of her, but she notices they narrow behind her where Carter is standing. She makes sure to leave a wide berth between her and Jax, but she isn't rude that she doesn't greet Gemma and his club. And they all greet her warmly even Gemma.

Of course, though when Donna is ready for visitors, she requests her and Jax first after the grandparents.

It's awkward and tense between her and Jax, but she doesn't let it distract from the joy of a baby being born. She greets Opie and Donna with wide smiles as she congratulates them. And her arms shake as Opie's large hands pass his daughter, Eleanor Grace Winston, Ellie for short, into her arms.

Even with all her cousins and their babies, she is still amazed by the miracle of childbirth. It still astounds her with what the female body is capable of. She smiles at the baby that is a solid proof of the love Opie and Donna have for each other.

And she can't help, but risk a glance at Jax, who is standing beside her, admiring his niece. He has a contemplative look on his face that is hidden beneath his smile. His hand comes up and cups the baby girl's small head and she comes to the realization that she'll never have what Donna and Opie have with Jax.

A sour feeling arises in her at the notion she might love Jax.

…

She is coming back from a date with Carter when she finds Jax waiting for her outside of her apartment. He's hood is up on his head while he smokes a cigarette with a whole bottle of Jack next to him. He stands to his full height as she bids goodbye to Carter, who is looking back and forth between the two. After all, she had full disclosure about past relationships and considering how Charming is, she would rather have him hear about Jax through her than someone else. She shoos him with the assurance she is fine before she turns back to face Jax.

With the scowl present on his face, she assumes he doesn't appreciate the presence of another man in her life. She could laugh at the thought of him being mad she was seeing someone.

She ignores him as she makes her way up the steps to her place. He follows behind quietly as she unlocks the door. He doesn't bother for an invitation as he strolls right on it.

"Still seeing him huh?" Jax questions her, breaking the silence between the two, as she throws her purse on the couch.

Aubrey folds her arms across her chest. "What are you doing here?" She demands. It's been almost five months and she will be damned if he can just waltz back in here now because he is jealous.

Yet she can't deny that now as he stands a few feet away from her all suffocating and filling up the gaps that had grown between them.

He sighs as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "I missed you."

Aubrey shakes her head. "Got bored of your whores didn't you?"

She isn't stupid. She knows that he probably had plenty of women to keep him company.

He shakes his head at her almost as if he is biting his tongue to keep himself from rising to her bait. Instead, he walks closer to her and his hand comes up to her hair down in loose waves that he twirls between his fingers before they trail her cheek.

"I'm sorry," he tells her and she knows he means it and it's enough for her walls to crumble. She hates the hold he somehow has over her. She hates him she tells herself.

So she lets the outlaw biker take her to bed. She'll deal with the emotional repercussions in the morning. Right now, she just wants him and to feel whole.

…

When she wakes up all aches in all the right places, she instantly feels regret and guilt. Just because he's sorry doesn't change anything. If he was really sorry he wouldn't have waited five months to fix whatever got messed up between them. She rolls out of bed quietly not to wake him up. She takes a quick shower to wash away the evidence – his touch. She almost cries thinking about Carter and knows she just messed up whatever they had.

Exiting the shower, she finds Jax awake in bed smoking a cigarette. It seems he is at least perceptive of the emotional and mental war she's going through because of him as he can't manage to meet her eyes.

She leans against the wall as she doesn't trust herself to be near him. "What am I to you?"

Jax sighs as he leans up further more on the bed. "I like you, Aubrey."

"Well that's reassuring," she mutters, which earns her a glare.

"It's not like you've been explicit about what you want from me."

Aubrey laughs in disbelief. "Jax, you were practically living here."

"I don't know what the fuck you want from me Aubrey." He spits. "You can't be mad at me for fucking other women when you did your own shit." He remarks bitterly.

"It's not about the other women, Jax," she tells him. And she may have kissed a few guys here and there, but she never slept with them.

Jax snorts.

"It's not." She insists. Right now, it's not. They could tackle that subject another time.

"Then what is it?"

"You don't trust me." She tells him simply.

"How'd you figure that?"

"Not once during whatever we were did you trust me enough to enter your world. Instead, you created a cozy space for yourself where the two didn't intersect." She tells him.

"Ever hear of not bringing work home." He drawls as he stubs out his cigarette.

"I can't do this." Aubrey says at his flippant response. "I won't."

"Then let me make it easy for ya."

…

Aubrey thinks this time Jax won't be coming back. He left pissed off from her place, but not before pressing a bruising kiss to her lips and slamming the door. Yet as the third week rolls around she thinks she is going to have to make the initiative to get in contact with him. However, she would like to avoid the clubhouse at all costs.

So instead she decides to visit Donna and see if she can extract some information from the new mother considering her husband is Jax's friend.

Donna seems happy for the visitor. Opie is off on some work trip apparently and Donna reveals that she doesn't find Gemma much company. It also seems that Donna couldn't wait to plop Ellie in her arms.

It's only been a couple months and the baby girl has grown considerably and the generic baby look is slowly morphing into a mixture of Donna and Opie. However, right now all she sees is Opie in the baby. She tells Donna that who mutters an  _oh god_  at that prospect and makes her laugh. Soon they talk about potential jobs. Aubrey is still working at the diner as she applies to local dental offices. She thinks her best bet might be finding a job in Lodi or Stockton.

It leads to the perfect moment for her to ask about Jax as Donna asks if she is seeing anyone. Aubrey does disclose she did break things off with Carter. Donna correctly assumes it was because of Jax. Donna tells her it's unsurprising as Jax is known for being quiet possessive and jealous. It's then Donna drops the bombshell that Jax is serving time for assault with a deadly weapon. Donna lets it slipped he apparently attacked an ATF Agent named Kohn.

She doesn't know how to process that information so she decides it's best not to dwell on it.

Instead, she thinks six months is enough time to purge Jax from her system. In the same week, she hears back from a potential job that wants to hire her. It's in Charming and she doesn't mind especially as they give her a hiring bonus.

With a new job and working on a new beginning, her first set of business is moving out of her apartment. Since she was washing his clothes, Jax had decided to take over paying her rent; she would have fought him on it if it wasn't for the fact the club had Floyd in their pocket. And two if he wanted to pay it why argue. Thirdly, he had already went over her and paid for it before telling her. But her name was still on the lease and it gave her extra money.

And she is able to afford a nice four bedroom home with the help of her parents. It was one story with a spacious front and back yard. It had a double garage attached to the house. There was even an added bonus of a porch on the front and back.

It was a little big especially just for her, but in Charming it was rare for anybody to make multiple moves. It was better to have a house to build something in. One day she would maybe have her own family – children – filling in the rooms.

And she's doing good with not thinking about Jax.

Instead, she focuses on work. She works on her house in designing it with the help of her mom. She spends time with her family as she goes to visit or they make weekend visits to Charming.

She goes on a few dates, but nothing takes. Either the date is a dud or she finds herself always becoming nauseous and sick having to cancel.

Her only setback is a letter Opie discreetly gives her one day. He's been inside almost three months and she thinks Jax really likes to drag when it comes to his emotions. She doesn't want to read it and she contemplates burning it on multiple occasions, but eventually she has too.

She tried to put it off as a change of season. It was getting a little colder out and she was always due for her one bout of sickness in the year. She was at a new job and despite being a sterile building; she was around a lot of new people and cleaning their mouths. She was bound to catch the sniffles.

But she can't ignore her aversion to certain foods. How she gets winded easily or susceptible to bouts of dizziness. When she's over at Donna's and holds a four month old Ellie, it nags and nags that she decides her being in denial isn't going to help anyone.

So she buys a pregnancy test at the drug store already knowing the answer.

At the doctor's appointment, she isn't surprised to know that she is 14 weeks pregnant – 3 months. She debates on how and when to tell Jax. A part of her doesn't even want to and even worse she doesn't even contemplate abortion as she couldn't snuff this piece of her and Jax out.

So she opens his letter that states why he is locked up and his apology. She blames the pregnancy hormones for the tears and who knew fucking Jax Teller knew his way around a pencil. And her response probably isn't going to be what he wants it to be.

She isn't going to let her heart bleed out for him anyone because now it isn't about them, but their baby.

She doesn't acknowledge his previous letter, she only gives him the news about their child and that she would like to know what he would like to do. It isn't until she looks at the sonogram that she realizes that he may not want to be involved in the pregnancy. He may not want to even claim the kid and she realizes that choice is all his own. She won't fault him for it.

She slips the copy of the sonogram hoping that it will make it real for him or something.

She gives Opie the letter when Donna isn't around.

Jax has three months left in his sentence and three months to decide what he is going to do.


	4. I'll Be Damned

 

Aubrey isn't sure how she feels about pregnancy. She is excited about the prospect of the baby and having a kid. She loves going shopping with her mom. She eagerly puts up each sonogram in her scrapbook for her firstborn.

It was just everything else that came with pregnancy.

The weight gain and constant cravings are the worst in her opinion. Aubrey never thought of herself as a vain girl, but as she continually tips the scale she wonders how pregnancy is going to change her body after this. She isn't sure she is exactly going to bounce back into her pre-pregnancy body despite her mom's assurances that she is young and she will.

But there are some perks as her hair is longer and fuller since she became pregnant. She has spent a lot of money on maternity clothes. If her kid is going to make her gain a butt load of weight, she at least is going to look good carrying an extra 50 pounds.

Then there are the people who seem so eager to touch her belly. She doesn't mind it especially if a person asks, but she doesn't realize how many people would just come up and rest their hands on her stomach.

There is also the gossip surrounding her pregnancy. Most think it is Carter's and even he thought it was, but she told him it wasn't. She felt like the world's biggest scum when he pieced two and two together as she never wanted to hurt him. But there are those who are right about Jax being the dad. She just hasn't taken the breath to confirm it. After all, he never responded to the letter and she isn't about to announce he is the Dad when he might not even claim their child. Plus depending on how far that news would travel, Gemma would surely have heard about it. She's actually surprised she hasn't had a run in with Jax's mother.

Besides she is only worried about her parents' reaction. They aren't strict by all means, but she thinks it was different to be fooling around with an outlaw biker than getting pregnant by one. When Jax and her were whatever they were, they never said anything about. They had met Jax a few times as sometimes her parents would visit when he was at her place. He seemed to get along with her parents well enough as she would find him and her dad watching a boxing match some nights she came home from work. She even came across a mortifying conversation that her mom was having with Jax about her work. She was always upfront about Jax and the situation to them. Although they seemed a little sad about his lack of response up to that point, they were happy about becoming grandparents. They promised they wouldn't try to intervene in how she handled Jax.

Her parents are with her every step of the way as she gets further along. Although she is glad for their support, it still doesn't change the fact she is going through this pregnancy alone. She is fine with being alone, but the loneliness of it is what gets to her.

Everything she is going through from the first kicks and the size of her stomach slowly transforming into a watermelon she is going through by herself. She has to deal with her insane cravings that have her making midnight runs to the grocery store by herself. She has to buy a little foot massager for her feet.

She is probably going to have to pick out the scheme of the room herself.

And find a name on her own.

She is experiencing all these milestones on her own and she blames the pregnancy hormones for making her feel so fucking sentimental. Yet, she has to come to terms that if Jax never wants responsibility for his child there are a lot of other things that she is going to have to get used to by herself.

And down the road, she is going to have to explain to her child why their daddy isn't in their life. And she isn't sure what she can possibly say.

She just hates pregnancy hormones.

…

The mother to be is in the beginning of her third trimester. She is hitting the home stretch. She's beginning to find herself restless at night and is tempted to deep clean the whole house. The baby is crowding her lungs and diaphragm making it harder to catch her breath. Aubrey finds herself sitting in chairs a lot so she can conserve her breath.

And everything fucking aches from her scalp down to her toes. Her only relief was when she visited Donna and Opie offered her a message. That had only made her break down sobbing as the loneliness of pregnancy snuck up on her. Luckily Opie was used to pregnancy hormones. The Winstons both were smart enough not to mention the fact she had yet mentioned or asked about Jax when they knew he was the reason she was so emotional.

She has also noticed that she was experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions on occasion and it only reminded her that labor was around the corner.

Then there were the leaky boobs. She almost flipped out with a yellowish substance leaked out that her mom needed to tell her was something called colostrum. And it was a fucking surprise that some of her baby's first food came out before the baby did.

And she has just come back from her appointment and is heading back to work when her phone begins to buzz. Opening it, she sees it's an unknown number has texted her.

_Have any doctor bills that need paid?_

Aubrey stops in her steps as she reads that text. For the first time in 3 months, even if they considered his letter communication, but with almost 6 months of no communication this is the first thing he sends to her. Her blood boils as she could throttle him for the impersonal rude message.

She doesn't even bother with a response.

She's not surprised that a few days later that she finds Jax on her doorstep when she comes home from work. She suspects he bullied Opie or Donna for her address. She scowls at him as she gets out of her car and she's confused as why he is looking at her with an irritated expression when she's the one that's pregnant. He did this to her.

But she can't help, but look him over. Not much has changed outside of his hair almost reaching his shoulders and he seems to have neglected shaving while he was inside. Besides that he doesn't seem to have changed much while he was away.

She doesn't bother in greeting him as she walks to her door and she certainly doesn't hide her large pregnant belly from him.

She enters her home and he follows her in. Their movements echoing their last night together and ironically the night he managed to knock her up.

"You could've answered the text," he says gruffly in a way of greeting.

She doesn't bother to hide her eye roll. "I've managed just fine without your help."

"I can see that." He says as he eyes her house before they land back on her – her belly.

And right now, she's tired and the last thing she wants to deal with is a cranky biker. "What do you want, Jax?" Her voice is soft and she lets her exhaustion bleed through. After all, if he wants to be involved – if they are going to be parents – open hostility isn't what is best for their child. Her wounded pride and his can be put outside for their child.

"Isn't it obvious?"

She shakes his head. "No it isn't. I never know what you want and I haven't heard from you in six months." She points out. "From the way things were going, I wasn't exactly sure how you felt on becoming a father. It's not like it was something we discussed."

She looks at the father of her child as he runs his hands through his hair. She's sure having the weight of a child on his shoulders while he was inside wasn't easy. And as she looks at him, she's worried that he might not want to be involved in their child's life. He will only be a bank roll. After all, she isn't sure how he would feel about her coming after him for child support. Even then she couldn't imagine doing that to him. If he didn't want to be involved, she wasn't going to accept child support as a penance. "Do you want to be part of the baby's life?"

"Of course I do," he states vehemently. "It's mines, right."

And her irritation rises quickly at his words. "Of course it's yours, asshole!"

Jax sighs and brings his hands up as if he is in prayer and plops down on her couch as he leans back and looks at her. Now, she can see the clear exhaustion on his features. It's hard to believe that he is only in his early twenties.

"I don't know what to fucking do, Bre." He tells her. She imagines it takes a lot of strength from him to even admit something like that.

"And you think I do?" She counters. She's been taking it each day as it comes all by herself. "We don't need to figure everything out now. We still have a few more weeks."

He nods his head and she sees some of the tension leave his shoulders. "You got anymore pictures?"

Aubrey nods her head as she heads into her library slash office where she has a folder she has kept for Jax that kept all the important documents for the baby.

She joins him on the couch as she hands the folder over. "This has everything about my pregnancy."

"You seeing anyone?" He asks casually as if he was asking about the weather.

The question throws her off a bit as she wasn't' expecting it to be brought up. "If I was?" She counters with a raised eyebrow.

He doesn't reply, but she can see in his eyes that she better not be and instead he opens the folder, which has the latest sonogram photo on top.

She watches as his face softens as he holds out the picture that shows their baby's face, toes, arm, legs, and fingers.

She even thinks she sees his lips tremble a bit before he closes the folder. "The baby it doesn't have –"

"No, perfectly healthy," she tells him knowing he is referring to the heart disease that runs in his family.

His eyes trail to her stomach and his hand comes out, but he recoils as if he crossed a line.

"You can put your hands on it. After all, this is your fault." She tells him.

He chortles at that. "I think it takes two to tango, darlin'."

His large hand is splayed across her large belly and she feels the heat going through her top. She fights back the tears as despite all the people that touch her stomach this was the only person she wanted. It's amazing how she can go from hating his guts to him being the only person she wants most in the whole world.

"Does he…she…move a lot?"

"Lately,  _she_  has."

Jax laughs. "Well I'll be damned."

At that, they are rewarded with a hard kick where his palm rests.

…

She doesn't know if he is somewhat disappointed about having a girl. If he is, he doesn't show it as he starts to become a permanent figure in her life again.

She isn't going to complain about him wanting to be involved even though, at this point in her pregnancy, there isn't much for him to do outside of keeping her comfortable. Like before, he had quickly taken the reigns on the financial responsibilities. She has come to find that Jax may be a little sexiest because of his life. And to save some of her breath, she doesn't argue with him over money. She doesn't even blink an eye when he gives her a bank card for her to buy baby stuff with.

Since he wants to help so badly, she takes pleasure in calling him to make midnight craving runs. If he isn't with her or claims to be busy, he mostly sends a Prospect named Filthy Phil, whom she calls Phil, to bring what she wants. And if Jax is gone for what he calls a run, this time actually telling her, he'll leave Phil with her. She finds she enjoys the man's company. He's a little bit shy, but sweet. He keeps her entertained with edited stories about his time as a Prospect so far. Her parents seem to like him too as when they head to visit them; her dad puts him to work in helping him with his garden. She even makes a joke to Jax one night that they should name the baby after the Prospect, which earns her a glare.

She's folding some newly purchased clothes in their daughter's room when she hears the front door chime and the sounds of footsteps coming down the hall. She hears muffled voices and assumes Jax is kicking the Prospect out before he reaches the room and leans against the doorframe and eyes her silently.

Since his release from Chino and his slow integration back into her life, she has become used to these silent observations. They don't bother as much as she thinks they should. After all, pregnancy is changing her body and she imagines he is just noting the various changes. Well that's what she hopes he's doing as she doesn't know what other explanation there could be.

At this point, she isn't sure what they are to each other.

She has been working to keep things strictly platonic between the two.

She hasn't let him touch her outside of her belly. She works to keep contact minimal. No hugs and no kisses. She doesn't want to fall back to their familiar intimacy because it's easy to do so with him.

And he had tried in the beginning. He had thrown her all the right smiles and the right gentle touches and despite being horny as fuck with this pregnancy, she wasn't going to cave. Although she was touched that he still wanted her when she was this pregnant.

She had let him down gently. She was pregnant and just wanted to focus on their daughter for now.

She couldn't deal with a romantic relationship with Jax as she finds that their platonic relationship is a lot less stressful than being romantic.

And she's fine not being with him. She didn't think she would be, but it seems he has been purged from her system.

It amazed her how well they are actually getting along or she can be so tired from pregnancy that frankly she doesn't want to waste energy getting into disagreements.

"I was wondering if I can store a bike in the garage." He asks her.

Aubrey places the baby onesie down as she looks at Jax, who has trimmed his beard and hair since his release. She knows that she should say no. It would be the smart thing to do. As before, him leaving little things at her place gave him a space in her dresser. And it had morphed into what weird thing they had before. It was the little things that would let him find ways back to her.

"For how long?"

He shrugs his shoulders with that stupid smile of his.

She fully turns to him and cocks her hip the best she can with a pregnant belly. Despite talking about doctor's appointment, what color they should paint the room, and even down to the breast pump she should buy, the one thing they haven't talked about is Jax's living situation. She has assumed that he stays at the clubhouse or his mom's. Sometimes, most nights, she lets him crash in the extra bedroom, but she has been firm that he shouldn't make it a habit.

In about a month, she will be giving birth. Their daughter will be here and Jax will have lost his damn mind if he thinks he is going to be taking their infant daughter to the clubhouse.

"Where are you going to stay when the baby is born?" She questions.

"I'll stay with my mom if I need too."

She raises an eyebrow at that as she's surprised since Jax has been out that his mother hasn't pounded down her door.

"So your mom knows?"

He nods his head as he enters the room. "She actually wants you to attend a family dinner."

She bullies Jax into telling her when and how he told his mom. He reveals that he had told her a few days after he talked to her. He had simply told his mom to not meddle and it left Aubrey slightly confused, but she didn't question it. She thinks though that Gemma wasn't thrilled by the news or if anything she probably claimed she was trying to trap him.

It wasn't as if she and Gemma really knew each other. But Jax was keeping her at arm's length for a reason. Although he can tell her overactive mind is picturing a thousand scenarios, but he simply tells her that he wants her to have a peaceful pregnancy. And that the distance is his doing. He doesn't want his mom interfering with what they are trying to build.

…

Despite his persistence, pleading, and commanding tone that makes her roll her eyes, she assures Jax that she is perfectly capable driving her car to his mom's house. She wasn't about to rely on him if she needed a quick exit.

She can tell it pisses him off as he scowls at her before walking towards his bike. Considering how pregnancy is sucking the life out of her and making her miserable, she is glad to bestow some misery onto Jax.

But she has fun at the dinner even though Jax is glued to her like an unwanted limb. She tolerates it though. He introduces her to the whole club once more. As expected they all know her and don't hesitate in ragging on Jax on impending fatherhood especially to a little girl with a smoking hot mother, according to Tig.

And seeing these men all together, she realizes that this life the guys lead is about brotherhood. They are a family. A part of her is glad to know that her daughter will have men watching after her.

Luckily, while Jax is busy talking shop she is able to break away for a bit.

Gemma makes her sit while she puts away leftovers. She can tell the woman is excited about the birth of a grandchild although she thinks the brunette was hoping for a boy. She has an inkling Gemma feared that Jax would never make her a grandmother or she would be stuck with some unfavorable woman as the mother. She thinks it's nice to know that Gemma seems to like her mainly to being the incubator of her grandchild though.

She's content in her chair; her feet are propped up as Gemma makes small talk. She asks if she has everything and how come there hasn't been any news about a baby shower. Aubrey explains she didn't want one and her parents have been more than generous and with Jax he is even more generous. Gemma then begins her line of questioning on her parents. Aubrey becomes annoyed slightly as she has noticed it's a habit that Jax and now Gemma have that people assume the worst in them. It annoys her as if she really held true disgust for Jax and everyone he associated with she wouldn't be here right now and she definitely wouldn't be pregnant. And she's not even going to bother defending herself. She finds these people don't really care about words. This Life is coated in lies anyways. All she can do is show them that how they live isn't something she is going to hang over them and Jax. All she cares about is that his Life won't stop him from being a father. She can handle everything else as long he plays his role.

"You know for an outsider, you did pretty good in there. You always have." Gemma states breaking her thoughts and she sends Jax's mother's a confused stare. "You seem to know how to navigate around the men easily."

"It's not hard catering to men's egos. Especially your son's. So I imagine these guys aren't any different." Aubrey tells her.

"Well you sure do have a mouth on you," Gemma mutters.

"Keeps Jax coming back," Aubrey states cheekily.

"I can see that," Gemma states as she eyes her stomach.

"But it's not hard to know to be "seen, but not heard", take cues from Jax, and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't have been able to worry about Jax chasing my shadow like Peter Pan, I would have freely assimilated myself into the kitchen." Aubrey explains. She won't admit it to anyone, but she had binged on a lot of shows about outlaws, mobs, and gangs during her pregnancy.

Gemma looks at her impressed. "So what is exactly going on between you and my son?"

"Outside of this little Princess, nothing," she informs her. "I think that's best for now."

She can tell Gemma wants to say something else, but Jax pokes his head into the kitchen and mentions he thinks it's time to head out. She sends Gemma a pointed look as she doesn't argue, but motions for Jax to help her out of her chair.

She doesn't give Jax the satisfaction of being right about heading home early. She barely has the energy to put one of his oversized shirts, that she isn't sure how she got into her possession, when she plants on the bed curled with her pregnancy pillow.

She knows she grumbles something when he asks to stay night and at this point she doesn't care what he did. She is certain even if she says no he isn't going to listen anyway.

She's in the middle of dreaming about Lollipops and funnel cakes when her eyes snap open as she feels the bed dip. She groans as she knows who it is immediately. She curses him as he knows she can't do anything about it with this beach ball of a belly.

He must sense that annoyance as she groans and curses at him as his arms wrap around her and land on her belly. It's a dirty move on his part and he knows it.

"Just let me stay please. I'll be gone before you wake up." He promises.

And she lets him.

…

The rest of the pregnancy goes by smoothly.

She allows Jax in her bed far more than she should allow, but she blames it on the hormones. As no matter how many girls he is sleeping with on the sly he is with her most nights. She's the one that is having his baby – his firstborn.

But she knows that she is starting that same cycle as before with him.

In the beginning, she can say that it didn't bother her that he might have not been faithful physically. As he had pointed out it wasn't as if she wasn't getting shit on the side either. She doesn't think it would in a sense be such a big deal if he was upfront about who he was too her and she knew where she stood on the totem pole. Considering he was using her like the whores he was surrounding himself with and she thinks that hurt the most. She also couldn't stand the thought of his croweaters knowing all about her and most likely laughing at her because Jax was fucking them and she was at a point partially oblivious of it.

Now as a mother, she knows that type of mentally – behavior – isn't acceptable. She doesn't want her daughter to be exposed to that type of environment. She wants something more stable – something like her parents.

It was also unfair to Jax to try and work something out with him when she didn't really know herself what she wanted from him.

But now all she wants is to push this tiny this baby out of her body.

She doesn't know what exactly she expected. She really didn't, but this pain is something she knows she never wants to feel again and she lets Jax know quite loudly as she sobs in his chest from the pain.

Jax had decided to indulge her in a night of watching Disney movies and made him get some spicy Thai food from Lodi. He had grumbled and bitched for a good twenty minutes until she told him to let the club bring a Thai restaurant to Charming.

While Jax switched  _The Little Mermaid_  for  _Aladdin_ , Aubrey went to the bathroom and she felt a weird sensation, almost a pop, but she didn't think anything of it. She got back in bed and didn't hesitate in cuddling into Jax and he obliged as he wrapped his arm around her and his hand found its home on her belly.

He had even questioned it about her being okay as a contraction hit her belly that she wrote off as a Braxton Hick. She had dozed off somehow, but she had woke up a few hours later when an intense tightening of her belly knocked the wind out of her and she slapped Jax awake with the news she was in labor.

And labor feels like days as she screams and cries. Mostly at Jax for knocking her up, she threatens that he will never be allowed near her again. She's not even embarrassed by her hysterics as he lets her take it out into his chest as she squeezes his hand. If anything, he is smart for keeping his mouth shut and passing her ice chips.

They give her an epidural eventually, but she finds that it really doesn't do shit. At that point, she is a sweaty irritated mess. Jax is sitting in the chair next to her as she prays for labor to move a little faster.

"You look beautiful," he tells her. His blue eyes earnest and she thinks proud. But of course he would be proud putting her through all this fucking pain.

She snorts unladylike as she thinks her clammy skin and messy bun is anything but beautiful. "You're so full of shit." She tells him and she looks at him with narrowed eyes. "I'm being serious, Jax, I'm never letting your dick near me again."

"Just my dick, darlin'?"

"I'm going to a fucking nunnery." She spits out at him.

"So I guess our daughter won't get a sibling?"

Aubrey throws the TV remote at him and she doesn't care that it shatters from impact against the wall.

Soon her body is wrecked with a savage contraction that has her gripping the bed rails and she knows she needs to push.

It's amazing as all the pain that was ripping her into two manages to go away as the baby leaves her body. She slumps back against the bed as Jax presses a kiss to her forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips and murmurs about how amazing she was as she is crying from the excursion. The doctor holds up the baby that is still connected to the umbilical cord and proudly tells her it's a girl.

Aubrey cries harder as she looks at her screaming newborn baby as they place her in her arms momentarily. This little girl was a piece of her and Jax. She was something that she and Jax had created.

Jax cuts the umbilical cord and they watch as the nurses make work of cleaning their daughter and taking her weight and measurement.

She looks over at Jax and doesn't know why, but she is surprised to see that there are tears lining his eyes as the nurse bring their daughter out in a pink blanket. She's not surprised there is a pink Reaper cap on her head already.

Jax accepts the little bundle from the nurse and he moves back to the back and sits next to her.

Its little Ava Rosalie Teller, her tiny pink screaming little girl.

"She's perfect," Jax whispers.


	5. There's A Storm You're Starting Now

**Part II: Family Matters**

* * *

 

Even though she nose-dived into motherhood, Aubrey feels like it has changed her for the better. As she grew up with strong and capable parents, she knew what it took to be a parent. But watching and being the product of her parents was nothing compared to actually raising your own.

She thinks she is able to see why her mom and mothers like Gemma are extremely fierce and protective of their children.

Being a mother changes a person and Aubrey hasn't known a love like any other until her daughter was laid into her arms.

At the tender age of 23, she feels motherhood has made her stronger and a little wiser. She has become a force of nature.

She knows others have noticed this especially Jax.

With the six months that have followed Ava's birth, they have become strong parents. Of course, in the beginning there were some mistakes. Bouts of frustration and exhaustion with each other before they found a rhythm that worked. They were both first time parents with different philosophies of how they wanted to raise their daughter.

And she could admit with her post-partum emotions, she did take them out on Jax especially since he seemed to operate on weird hours for the club.

Now they found something that worked.

As parenthood brings them closer, she does keep her distance from Jax.

She's still guilty of allowing him in her bed to just sleep. She'll even let him steal the occasional kiss from her when he leaves, but she keeps all matters focused on Ava.

And it's not easy.

It would be easy to allow Jax back in. After her 6 week checkup, she was tempted to take advantage of Jax for the night. It wasn't like she was blind. Even with the distance it wasn't as if her attraction to Jax was shut off. Considering that they had Ava now, she knows how good it was with Jax.

it's not like he would object either. She knows all she has to do is give him one look and he would gladly take her to bed. But even if she is looking for a release she isn't going to use her baby daddy like that.

So she keeps things strictly platonic. Of course, she has to work around his need to invade her personal space occasionally or the sense of entitlement over her he seems to have because she had his kid. She knows that she shouldn't tolerate his feeling of ownership over her, but for now she's fine with it.

She's focused on Ava and isn't looking for a relationship.

…

"Aubrey, she is just the cutest little thing!" Payton gushes as she holds a giggling Ava. Payton is visiting Charming for her parents' 20th year wedding anniversary. This is also the first time that Payton has gotten to see Ava since her birth.

"Thanks, P." Aubrey replies. "I have to admit Jax can make a pretty baby."

"Like you had nothing to do with it."

Aubrey shrugs her shoulder with a small smile.

"So tell me how is that working with friendzoning baby daddy is going?"

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "I'm not friendzoning him."

Payton snorts. "You never told me what went wrong between you two."

Aubrey sighs as she runs her hand through her hair. "Jax is a very complicated man."

"But you still got pregnant by him."

"It wasn't as if I planned too."

"You love him don't you?"

Aubrey shakes her head. "Why are you so interested in me and Jax? Most people in Charming would advise me to stay away from him."

In fact, considering now that she has Ava, she gets pity looks from people. She finds most people in Charming look at her as if she is some lost little girl in need of saving. She suspects that she and Ava are in a lot of people's prayers Sunday morning.

But then she finds some people will go out of their way to be nice to her. She thinks they are mostly scared of Jax and the club and if they do her wrong in any way, it will come back to bite them in the ass. It's a weird power to have Aubrey realizes.

"I just want my friend to be happy. And I think Jax could do that. You have this little girl that at least deserves her parents to try."

"That is such bullshit and you know it." Aubrey says with a huff. "Jax and I get along fine. I don't think us not being together will hurt Ava in the long run as long as we are able to remain cordial."

She doesn't. She knows that once Ava is older is might be awkward and tough to explain why they aren't together. She's fully prepared for that conversation. Yet, she knows if she and Jax can remain friendly that Ava won't fill like she is missing out on anything. Besides, Aubrey doesn't plan to keep Jax from seeing his daughter. She thinks it's other factors that might prevent Jax from seeing Ava.

"You know denial ain't just a river in Egypt." Payton says.

"Whatever."

"Seriously, why are depriving yourself from getting ass!"

"Payton!" Aubrey screeches before both girls dissolve in a fit of laughter.

…

Aubrey slides out of bed and considering Jax isn't still in bed he must have woken up with Ava. She's surprised considering how late he came home. She checks her daughter's bedroom for good measure as sometimes she would find father and daughter passed out in the rocking chair. Both softly snoring and considering that Jax was shirtless most of the time, he hadn't mastered in wearing a towel over the shoulder for the occasion spit up. The room is empty and she knows the next place they would be is in the kitchen and she hits the jackpot.

She finds Jax at the kitchen table trying to feed their daughter, who is only wearing a diaper. It seems Ava is wearing her breakfast of oatmeal than eating it. It seems Jax hasn't learned the art of feeding a baby yet. Or to at least put a bib on the baby.

Ava's eyes spot her and a toothless smile is thrown her way as her daughter giggles in joy. Aubrey comes into the kitchen and places a kiss on top of her daughter's blond wispy hair that comes from Jax.

Ava is no longer a generic looking baby. She is now morphing into a mixture of her and Jax. Ava had inherited Jax's blonde hair and his blue eyes, but according to Jax everything else was all her. Ava had her nose, mouth, shape of face, and according to Jax her attitude. But their little girl was perfect to her. She doesn't know how to thank Jax for giving her something this precious.

"Hey, where's my kiss?"

Aubrey looks at Jax, but rolls her eyes. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow?"

Apparently there was some big bike show in Arizona he needed to go to for a few days.

"Decided to come back early. Missed my girls and all. Brought bike some souvenirs." He says as he stands up clad in only his sweatpants. His chest and torso on full display, she doesn't hide that she is looking.

"Wow, don't I feel special." Aubrey drawls as she turns to wipe off Ava's face.

"You should," he tells her cheekily as he stands next to her and she finds a wet kiss pressed to her lips.

She scowls at him when he pulls back which only makes him laugh as he goes to put the dishes in the sink.

"By the way, that's a good look on you."

Aubrey looks down at her night time attire, which is a navy oversized SAMCRO shirt.

As of today, Ava has hit six months; it means the little girl has a very busy day. She needs to go for her six month checkup and Aubrey has scheduled to have some baby photos taken. She tells Jax of her tentative plan as she has learned having a baby plans change on a whim. She expects him to offer her money as he usually does or if she needs anything for her and Ava that he would task a Prospect with, but he surprises her when he tags along.

It wasn't as if Jax never gone places with her and Ava. He would sometimes occupy her to the occasional trip to the grocery store. He had no problems picking up or dropping off Ava at her grandparents. And if anyone was still wondering if Jax was the father to Ava, he had squashed any lingering doubts as he had kept Ava glued to his side at his mom's Taste of Charming Festival.

And nothing tested her resolve and will than seeing Jax with Ava. Sometimes after seeing him read a book to her, playing with her sprawled out on the floor, and even just holding her made her want to jump his bones. But no matter the complicated feelings, it brings her nothing but joy to see Jax with his daughter and she feels special that she was able to give him the gift of fatherhood.

She already knows though as their little girl grows, she will have him wrapped around her little fingers.

After her checkup, a brief interlude for lunch, Aubrey and Jax are at the studio.

It seems her little girl likes the attention she is receiving as she has yet made a fuss as the photographer snaps his photos. Aubrey is sure that little personality quirk comes from Jax.

She and Jax are in a small changing room. Ava is clad in her diaper – her preferred outfit – as Aubrey works in getting into her third and final outfit of the day. Jax keeps Ava entertained as he blows raspberries or lets her gums gnaw on his rings and fingers.

"I should be lucky you don't drown her in pink shit," Jax mutters as she takes out a navy blue onesie dress, a shade similar to the club's color.

"Be careful," she warns. "I still can."

She digs into her bag and pulls out the freshly ironed blue plaid shirt of Jax's. She wasn't surprised to find that Jax's wardrobe didn't contain much variety.

He looks at her confused. "What's this?"

"Family photos," she tells him simply. "Since you're here, I don't have to schedule another appointment."

Jax eyes her hesitantly, but regains possession of his hand to Ava's dismay. Ava distracts her daughter with slipping the onesie on along with a bow littered with grey skulls. Jax removes his kutte and slips the flannel over it in replacement.

With Jax being designated driver, instead of taking them home, he leads them to Charming Gardens. They stroll through the park at a leisurely place. Some approach remarking how cute Ava is, who revels in the attention. She also thinks Jax puffs his chest out a little bit too. Soon the fresh air makes it easier for Ava to nap and Jax takes then to the nearest park bench.

"We make a pretty good looking family," he says as he looks at the photo of all three of them.

Aubrey rolls her eyes as she can feel where this conversation is headed.

"You're not too bad," she tells him.

Jax flashes a lecherous smile at her. He throws his arms across her shoulders and brings her into his side. She doesn't fight him as right now she is content to be in his arms. For once it actually feels like they are a family. She isn't going to mess up the mood by making him pissy.

But Jax can't help himself it seems as he places a kiss on her cheek and then trails to her jaw and then her neck.

She elbows him in the gut, "Would you stop that."

He doesn't and instead his lips go to her ear and he gently nibbles on it, "Would it really be that bad for us to get together."

Aubrey sighs as she really doesn't want to have this conversation right now or in a park.

"Ava deserves that chance of her parents being together." He says softly.

"She also deserves parents that get along," she counters to his argument.

"When have we never gotten along?"

Aubrey purses her lips as technically there wasn't a time they were at each other's throat. They just went through bouts of silence, but somehow wound up back in each other's orbits as if nothing happened.

"I like where we are at, Jax." She tells him. "I would prefer not to fuck it up because you're feeling horny."

"Would it be so bad to practice making Ava a big sister?"

Aubrey almost chokes on air and falls out of her seat at the audacity of Jax to think he will manage to knock her up again. Even though she loves her baby, she doesn't know if she is going to go through the pain of birth. She sure as hell knows Jax isn't going to think that because his biological clock is ticking she is going to be some willing surrogate ready to give him as many children he wants.

Jax laughs at her obvious look of disbelief. He brings her into him more and before she can even manage to chew him out for his sense of claim of her uterus, she finds his hands grabbing her face catching her off guard as her brings her into a filthy kiss.

"Come on, darlin'."

Aubrey pulls back from Jax a little breathless. "Jax –"

He must sense her objection as he pulled her into a longer, harder hungrier kiss.

"Ah fine, you asshole!" She says when he pulls away. "You're not fighting fair by slipping me the tongue."

"I'll be slipping you something else too by tonight, darlin'." He tells her with a straight face.

"You're a real class act, Teller." She is barely able to say before he brings her back into a kiss.

…

She knows Jax is serious about them being together when a week later he tells her that she's coming to a clubhouse party. The grandparents can babysit. She doesn't object and only nods her head as he places a bruising kiss to her lips before whisking Ava out of her arms.

So Friday night, she finds herself standing only clad in her underwear debating on what to wear.

Just from her once brief appearance in the clubhouse, she knew what not to wear, and she didn't think she even owned anything that small to even fit in. Plus, she wasn't some woman that was fine in being passed away around.

She knew a dress was out of the question as the clubhouse wasn't a nightclub and she would feel to out of place in that.

She knew she needed to wear something that wasn't too scandalous, but a little revealing to show a peak of what Jax had, but only he could touch.

Jax did live in a very sexist world she surmises.

All that was left were her jeans.

Aubrey eventually settled on white skinny jeans, with a tight fitting peach colored body suit, paired with army green heels with a marching army canvas jacket. She placed her now dark brown hair into a high messy bun. Tasteful and alluring is what she thinks she accomplishes.

It seems Jax liked the outfit as he had placed a burning kiss to her lips and she had to slap his hands away from undoing her jeans.

That night she sees a whole different side of Jax and his world.

She tries not to linger on the thoughts that Jax is constantly surrounded by questionable women doing gods know what and has been throughout the whole duration of her relationship. But it seems the women know their place as they don't bother her or Jax. She wonders if what she did those many months ago to the one blonde was still fresh on their mind.

But it's not all that much fun being tucked under Jax's arms for majority of the night. And she has enough trust with him that he won't try and test her patience considering she is wearing white. She plants a kiss on his lips and finds her way to the bar as she waits for a drink. She knows no one will approach her as she is sure her arriving under Jax's arm means something she will ask about later.

It seems the later it gets, the rowdier the crowd becomes. She isn't sure how much longer she will be able to tolerate the night. Besides, this is the first time that Aubrey has been without Ava and she finds herself missing her little girl.

"Well it's about time you've made an appearance."

Aubrey turns to find Gemma looking at her with a smile. The two women got along well, which was surprising to Jax.

"Well Jax asked," Aubrey says simply. "And I guess I need to indulge him in showing me off like his bike."

Gemma shakes her head as she takes a seat on a stool, "You're on a whole new different playing field now."

"And what makes you say that?" Aubrey asks.

That night, Gemma begins the Education of Aubrey.

Gemma is quick to give Aubrey a crash course now that she is taking steps to be Jax's Old Lady. A term that made her cringe, but she kept her mouth shut as Gemma threw her a glare.

Honestly, Aubrey wasn't shocked by how "Old Ladies" were supposed to act. She was supposed to treat Jax like a God. Be there whenever he needed. Keep the house warm and clean. She was to abide by rules that Jax would enforce, but the club as well. She would need to be for him sexually as well as emotionally. Be seen not heard, as she had told Gemma before.

But also, she should also make it known to Jax that she was independent without him. She had hope that Aubrey was smart enough to keep herself alive if the time ever came. She was confident to call Jax out on his shit and she was hot enough to him coming home every night that Gemma assured was pretty clear already.

But the one thing that stuck with her was Gemma's warning that croweaters were her worst enemy. Gemma was very blunt on the matter as well. The biker matriarch had put it plainly that girls she had witness hanging off any patch they could were meant to open beers and suck dick. The girls wouldn't hesitate in dropping their panties for Jax no matter if they were all too aware that he went home to her every night.

Aubrey really didn't think that the croweaters were her problem as a girl could rub up on Jax the whole night, but he still needed to be a willing participant. The patch was the one that made the final call in the end.

But it's the run policy that sticks with Aubrey. She isn't sure how she feels that Jax is practically allowed fair game on pussy. She can't comprehend that runs are basically a pussy buffet, almost like a reward for the men.

It was also shocking that someone like Gemma was fine with such blatant infidelity being dangled in her face. She didn't know how Gemma even learned to let something like that roll off her shoulders.

But Aubrey also knows that considering her lack of ink, she was expandable to the croweaters. She was just like them in their eyes.

It isn't until after a run to Nevada that Aubrey voices her opinion on the matter.

Her throat burns badly to ask Jax about what he does on a run and possibly about who entertains him, but Gemma told her out of sight, out of mind. If it didn't follow him back, which it shouldn't and wouldn't, she practically had no say in the matter. But Charming was a different matter. Charming was her home ground.

They're in her bed, sweat is cooling on their skin, as she traces Ava's name that is on his left pectoral – his heart. She can't look in his eyes as she's afraid of what she might find.

"Jax, I want you to know that what you do, doesn't just hurt me, but Ava," she starts hesitantly. Her fingers tremble on his chest.

"I know," he replies quietly.

"I'm not going to have infidelity thrown in my face," she gets out in one nervous breath. She realizes that in the years they have always circled around each other, he has never been afraid of laying his ownership of her. And now this is the first time, she has ever made a move to insert herself in his life. It feels weird and she thinks she never has done this before simply because of the fear of rejection.

Jax is still a mystery to her.

She's confident in his feelings for her, but they get caught in the web of the lies and secrecy of his life. She knows there is a side of Jax that is capable of things that she shouldn't be able to sign off on. She knows that he has to keep parts of himself locked away. It burns to think this stems back from his obvious trust issues. Although she thought a kid would change that and he would allow her in more, but apparently she was wrong.

She wonders if it will ever feel right with Jax.

Even with her insecurities, she doesn't let it affect the progress and efforts of Jax.

…

With Jax and Opie watching some UFC fight at Gemma's with the guys, Aubrey and Donna take advantage of not having the men hovering and have a playdate with Ellie and Ava.

Ellie now working her way into her twos is already walking on a pair of chubby legs and has a knack of repeating whatever the adults say. The little girl is a weird mixture of Donna and Opie with her brilliant blue eyes from Donna, the thin top lip, but plump bottom one of Opie's, but the quiet, reserved demeanor of both parents. But everyone is still curious on where Ellie has sprouted strawberry blonde hair. Piney had mentioned that it was Mary's natural color.

But the little girl is thriving and seems happy to have a little cousin to play with. Ava is turning one in a couple months and Aubrey wonders where the time has went. It only seemed like yesterday she had gave birth to her little sassy girl. Aubrey is almost heartbroken that her baby girl is growing up despite her only turning one.

"I know that look," Donna says next to her.

"I can't believe it's going to be a year," Aubrey says as she watches with a smile as Ava tries to figure out how to walk like Ellie. She knows once Ava figures it out, she and Jax are going to have a rough time trying to get her to stop.

"I know they're growing up so fast." Donna says with a smile of her own.

"You and Opie thinking about having more kids?" Aubrey asks her friend.

"I could ask you the same thing about you and Jax," Donna counters.

Aubrey chortles at that. Since the birth of Ava, there hasn't been serious talk about expanding the "family". Ava was a handful and she and Jax were still navigating their relationship. She didn't think adding another kid in the mix would help and she was unsure if she wanted another kid.

"Ava's enough." Aubrey replies.

Donna nods her head. "Opie and I are talking about it. Be nice to give Ellie a little brother or sister – although I think Opie is hoping on a boy."

"Well it is the sperm that decides gender," Aubrey points out.

Donna laughs. "The last thing I need is Opie doing some weird séance to ensure a boy."

Aubrey giggles at the mental image of Opie dancing naked with chickens like something out of  _The Crucible_.

"You and Jax seem to be doing good," Donna points out.

Aubrey shrugs her shoulders as she doesn't want to jinx anything. She and Jax are doing good. Too good in fact and it worries her.

She and Jax rarely argue and if they do argue it's over something stupid like where to put something in the house. They never have gotten into a big fight. She doesn't know if she is just passive when it comes to him or they simply just get along.

Jax is home always at a reasonable time. The only time he isn't home is when he goes on runs. And whatever is going on with the club it doesn't stop his duties when it comes to Ava.

Aubrey can say Jax is a very attentive father. Ava has her father wrapped around her little fingers and that little girl knows it. It's at the point she knows when Ava gets older she will have to be the bad guy to the little girl as Jax will bend over backwards for her.

Aubrey isn't going to complain though. She knows she is lucky to even be able to witness the relationship Jax has with their daughter.

"Taking it one day at a time, ya know."

"So you're his Old Lady?" Donna asks.

Aubrey is taken back by the question as she and Jax haven't discussed that despite in a few months it will be six months they have been together. Aubrey isn't sure when the right time is to bring something like that up considering its heavy meaning in his world. She has gone to frequent clubhouse parties and the welcome homes from his runs and nothing has happened with croweaters that she knows of. Most give her wide berth when she's there. Every patch she has met knows she's with Jax and they definitely know who Ava is.

But despite that, it will never change the fact she will be a mother – the mother of his daughter – before anything else.

…

Aubrey has trouble believing that in a couple days, her little baby girl will be one year old. Her baby girl is growing up and it wasn't surprising that Ava had decided to start walking a few days prior to showcase that she was a growing little girl.

Aubrey knows that her daughter was going to be trouble for Jax with her curly blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and she had Jax's smile that was going to snare her daughter's victims – like her father.

To celebrate her birthday, Jax had set no budget, which Gemma really took advantage off. They were throwing a party at Charming's Gardens and had rented a multiple bounce houses, balloon twister, face painter, and of course Bobby Elvis.

Aubrey thought it was a little much, but it was for the SAMCRO Princess and Jax was fronting the bill.

And to say things were good between them would be an understatement. Things have been great, honestly. But she should have known something was going to come to a head.

Aubrey pulls into the clubhouse parking lot to get some money from Jax. She's shopping for some last minute things for the party and Jax told her it was pay day so she should just drop by.

Yet, as she pulls into the seemingly deserted lot, she knows something is off. Usually the lot is brimming in activity from power drills and hangarounds goofing off in the ring. There are some people in the garage working, but there isn't a patch in sight working.

She looks around the lot and spots an unfamiliar Chevy, but her attention is diverted by Jax, Bobby, and Chibs exiting the clubhouse.

They don't look happy. In fact, Jax looks strung out – stressed. A far cry from how they left each other in the morning.

Bobby and Chibs head towards the picnic tables as Jax reaches her. She goes to ask what's wrong, but Jax wraps her in a hug before he brings her head back and presses a hard bruising kiss that takes her back. She struggles to keep up with the demanding kiss.

She pushes back from him separating their lips with a loud smack. "What's going on?"

He doesn't answer her as he grabs her hand and leads her into the clubhouse. Inside, it's the quietest she has ever seen it. Half Sack is behind the bar and there is a woman with long caramel colored hair there as well, but her face is hidden by the wavy locks.

Jax leads her into the chapel and closes the door.

A familiar unwelcomed feeling enters her gut as she thinks about what happened the last time she and Jax talked in this chapel.

Jax sighs deeply and he now he can't seem to look her in the eyes. Instead, he grips the back of one of the chairs and looks at the many plagues on the wall.

Aubrey doesn't like this at all, but she is for some reason scared to speak. She's scared that whatever is said in this room will change this between them forever.

"I don't even know how to tell you this," he says as he won't look at her.

"Well spit it out," Aubrey replies as she folds her arms across her chest.

Jax looks up at her with watery eyes. Aubrey hates more than anything how she can see Ava's face in him. How their blue eyes look the same upset. How those blue eyes look like a water prism.

"A sweetbutt from Nevada is here," he starts and he swallows the lump in his throat, "and she's pregnant."

At first Aubrey looks at him confused as she doesn't know why she would need to be concerned with something like that. Why should she care about some random girl? And she's close to questioning him on why she should care, but it hits her.

Nevada.

Jax had done a run there a couple months back.

She's pregnant and here.

This was more than a slap in the goddamn face.


	6. You've Got Your Own Mistakes in a Bed At Home

 

Aubrey doesn't think humiliation is the right word to cover how she feels after what Jax did. Betrayal doesn't do it justice either. Aubrey is surprised that she didn't blow up on Jax when the dots finally connected. She thinks she was too shocked to do anything, but stare at him. She simply didn't even have a reaction.

Instead, she decided to put what Jax had done on the backburner. They could deal with it later. Ava's birthday was a couple days away and Ava came first before any bullshit with Jax. She just calmly asked him for money and left.

She thinks that hardest part was the fact everyone knew. For her two days of denial, everybody knew and was just waiting on her reaction.

But she never blew up on Jax. He didn't stay at that house those two days prior to the party. He had arrived early the day of Ava's party to help set up. From Gemma's cold front with her son, she assumes Gemma was not to please, but as her son was a patch, those old ladies instincts had forbidden her from making a scene in public.

She, however, acted like nothing was wrong. She wasn't going to have anything distract her from Ava turning one. She had played the part of happy mother and girlfriend to a T. She was all smiles when it came to Jax when they were forced to interact. She took pictures with him and Ava like they were some perfect family, but they weren't.

Even after the party when she was cleaning up, Jax had shooed everybody away even his mother. Ava was deep in sleep from the excitement of the day and it was just the two of them.

He tried to dig and prod, but she didn't have it in her to engage.

She didn't think there was anything to discuss not only did he cheat, but he had gotten another woman pregnant. She wasn't going to argue or cry about it. She didn't have it in her.

She wanted to hate the girl. She really did, but it wasn't her fault. It was Jax's. He was the only one responsible for this.

She thinks that she's lucky that Ava is young and won't remember this episode between them.

Luckily, Jax seems to be smart when it comes to her and her emotions. After the party when it was apparent she didn't have anything to say on the matter, he had gave up. Simply gave her a kiss on the forehead before saying goodbye to her and Ava.

She learned that the sweetbutt's name was Wendy. She was a stripper from Indian Hills – one of Jax's Uncle Jury's girls. Wendy had been making herself known as a party girl that was worth every dime that she charged for off the menu specials.

Aubrey tries not to dwell too much on that info. Tries not to think about how maybe Jax's only interest in her was their daughter. After all, nothing was better than old pussy, but new pussy. Maybe Jax was bored and it was obvious she simply wasn't enough.

Yet, she knows that she needs to be the bigger person. Despite how much Gemma seems to despise the woman. Aubrey can't let her own turmoil affect what's inevitable.

Ava is going to have a brother or sister. She is going to be a big sister. Eventually she is going to be around this innocent baby and that includes Wendy.

Despite that truth, she has gotten Gemma and her parents caught in the middle of her hurt. They play the middle man when it comes to dealing with Jax when in concern with Ava. She knows Ava knows something is up, but it's the best she can do for now.

Her reaction happened to be silence.

She does her best to completely avoid Jax as she knows where Jax is Wendy is not far behind. For the sake of her sanity she doesn't ask Gemma about the nature of his relationship with Wendy. She doesn't really ask about the baby.

However, now that Jax has bought a house for his new family, she thinks humiliation is the right word.

…

Yet, she soon finds a nice distraction in a charismatic insurance agent named Kevin. He had moved into the office space next to her job. He is the complete opposite of Jax.

He and Jax were about the same height, but Kevin had dark brown eyes and brown hair. Where Jax would go through period of looking cleaned shaved or rough and pure masculine with long hair and a beard, Kevin was always clean shaven. He was slim and didn't possess the sinewy physique like Jax had. Most importantly, he didn't come with the baggage and heartache that trailed after Jax like a bad smell.

And he was nice and a nice break. He made her laugh and never had she felt insecure. Despite having a kid with one of the most notorious citizens of Charming, he didn't seem to care. She knows that he is dying to meet Ava and Jax too, but for once she's being selfish.

She's keeping Kevin to herself. She has him in a nice case of bubble wrap. Things with them are so fresh and new and she doesn't want Charming to taint it yet. She wants him all to herself before her world will eventually crash with his.

It almost happens.

For lunch, they decide to go to the local café on the corner. He's going to be gone for two weeks to handle an insurance claim and he was leaving later that day. Knowing she was going to have Ava, she had offered to meet for lunch and he agreed.

They are leaving when someone calls out her name.

Turning around, she's met with the sight of a pregnant Wendy Case. She's not looking that great either. Wearing an oversized Harley shirt with grey leggings, her hair greasy, Aubrey's surprised that the mother to be is out looking like that. Or the fact Jax would let her walk around looking so strung out. And in the back of her mind, she's slightly worried how Wendy even knew she was here with Kevin.

Aubrey shoos Kevin away and is aware of Wendy's gaze as she presses a kiss to Kevin's lips.

"What do you want?" Aubrey asks skipping past pleasantries.

Wendy is taken back by her abrasive nature and Aubrey is slightly ashamed. After all, Jax is the reason they are both in the situation.

Wendy licks her lips as she struggles to find her words. "I...I just wanted to say sorry. I never meant to hurt you or your family."

It's on the tip of her tongue to blame her, but Aubrey bites the anger down. "If it's anyone's fault…it's Jax. His choice. And I'm sure you weren't the only one he…"Aubrey trails off because she knows in her gut Wendy wasn't the only one. "You just got…lucky."

Wendy snorts as he hands go to touch her swollen belly but she stops. "It's hurting…him. The distance," Wendy blurts out. "We…we don't talk much…but it hurts him."

Aubrey sighs. She's confused on what Wendy is exactly trying to accomplish. "Why are you here, Wendy?"

"I…I'm tired of being hated. And I don't want this baby growing up surrounded by it. I never meant to come between you and Jax."

Aubrey shakes her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Have a good day, Wendy."

…

The first time she sees Jax in weeks isn't particularly happy.

Wendy had lost the baby due to a crank overdose. Things unravel pretty quickly about Jax's relationship with Wendy. She learns that despite the house he had bought, he never stayed in it. If he did, he barricaded himself in the extra bedroom that wasn't filthy. But then Jax's only interaction with her was sending her money for the doctor's bill after an argument about a DNA test. It almost brings her back to that incredibly rude text her had sent her when she was pregnant with Ava. She can say she wasn't surprised by that course of action from him.

She has just picked up Ava from her parents after work when he calls her. His voice low as exhaustion bleeds through. He's in Unser's cage for assault, but the charges were dropped.

So along with Ava, she heads to the police station. She feels the eyes on her and she knows it must look complicated to others. The spurred former lover and mother of his first born bailing him out of jail because of the other woman's problem. And she bullies him into telling her that it was a little more than an assault. He had jammed pool sticks into the balls of a Nords dealer who had sold Wendy the crank. She's surprised that she was able to get that much out of him as when he had seen Ava, he immediately became distracted by his daughter. Or more so, she was an easy scapegoat for him to avoid all the questions she wanted to ask. Like why he called her? How did he let Wendy's drug use get this bad? Or how was he feeling?

But she keeps her mouth closed.

She drives them back to her house.

She leaves the father and daughter duo alone as she goes and hops in the shower to wash her day away. Getting out, Jax informs her that he order some pizza so she doesn't have to cook. He passes Ava off to her as he wants to hop into a shower of his own.

She accepts her daughter's weight despite the little girl only wanting her father.

After his shower, they have dinner. It's quiet outside of Ava's babbling as she begins to build her vocabulary. It keeps Jax smiling throughout dinner. But Aubrey's worry for Jax keeps the smiles from tugging at her own lips. She isn't sure how to properly navigate this. They haven't spoken to each other for weeks and now he's here going through something unimaginable.

Somehow, they both were able to get Ava to sleep. The little girl seems to know that something is wrong with her father as all she did was scream for her  _Dada._ Her little arms reaching out for him as they tried to get her to lay in her crib. Aubrey knows Jax resolve was quickly breaking as he tried to soothe her. Eventually Ava wins as Jax picks her up and holds her.

Ava's cries quiet down as her arms wrap around his neck.

Aubrey watches from the daybed as Jax manages to get Ava's eyes to droop while she falls to sleep.

He lays Ava into her crib before he comes joins her on the daybed.

And now with being up close to him, she can tell these weeks haven't been kind to him. His eyes are dull and there are bags under them. He seems to be growing his hair out again, but has been keeping up his shaving. His body is coiled tightly as if he is ready to spring for an attack at any moment.

She keeps her hands in front of her to keep her from reaching out. Before she would have no problem in reaching out to him when he would come home stressed. Of course, he would never say what was causing him stress, but as soon as her hands would caress his shoulders and she began working his muscles, a smile would always work their way to his lips.

But now that isn't her place anymore.

"I'm sorry, Jax," she tells him softly.

He's quiet as his eyes stay focused Ava's crib.

"I didn't even want the kid," he confesses to her. It's also unsaid if the kid was even his.

And she knows Jax is probably angry at Wendy, it's unsaid that he hates her, and knowing him he probably blames himself for this fucked up situation. But mostly it's jarring to hear those words coming out of his mouth considering they have Ava. They know what it feels to be parents and what having a child means. And that baby despite the circumstance was innocent in all of this. But she keeps her lips shut and she lets him lay his head in her lap as she runs her fingers through his hair.

…

Jax doesn't talk about the miscarriage. In fact, life goes on as if he never happened.

Aubrey can't find the words to bring it up again. She knows better than to even ask about Wendy.

She heard that Jax had banned the woman from ever stepping foot back in Charming. She was non-grata at the clubhouse and any charters in all of the NorCal charters that the club frequented for runs.

And despite not disclosing with her his feelings on the past few months, she knows what happened has switched a flip in him.

He's different. She doesn't know how to explain it, but his once cocky swagger is being replaced with something else. She can't put her finger on it yet. He, of course, seems to be neglecting shaving again, but she feels as if Jax is finally turning into a man in a way.

Their relationship has gotten back on track. They're talking – co-parenting. A couple weeks after the miscarriage he had asked her to help him with his house. She was hesitant in wanting to see the life he would've built with Wendy, but she buried that down as it was irrelevant now. She hasn't forgiven him per say, but accepted what has happened. She has moved on and no matter what Jax will always be Ava's father.

But the house was a disaster. She hadn't known where to start in cleaning. The house was going to have to be gutted as there were cigarette burns all over the carpet. Questionable stains not only on the floor but the walls as well. She had contemplated she was going to need a biohazard suit for the bathroom. She was surprised that Jax didn't have any Prospects helping them. It was just the two of them and it almost felt like it did before they got together. It reminded her of when she worked at the diner.

They had fallen into easy banter easily and really talked. It wasn't as if they didn't before, but it was clear that they had grown in the past few months. Sometimes, she thinks that she may be the only woman Jax ever really talks too. Since she's sure most women would rather use their mouths for other than talking when it comes to him.

Except when she comes across the hidden space in the kitchen drawer with a couple wads of money and a hand gun, she knows that there is a part of Jax that he keeps from her.

…

She's not surprised that he knows. She's just surprised it took him so long to bring it up.

He is over to tuck Ava into bed as in the morning he is leaving for a long run. He would be gone for a week and Aubrey knows that after the second day she was going to have to deal with a very cranky Ava. Ava is turning into the epitome of a Daddy's Girl and Jax was all too happy to enable it.

She's in the living room folding laundry when he strolls in from Ava's room. He plops down on the couch as if he owns the place. He eyes her for a long time before she turns up and looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Take a picture. It will last longer." She quips.

He flashes a smile as he pats his leg where his wallet rests. "Already have some."

She rolls her eyes and she almost scowls as she finds another pair of Jax's boxer briefs in her load of clothes. He doesn't even live here and she still ends up doing his laundry. She is going to have to be sure to start making clear boundaries with Jax.

"So when am I going to meet Kevin?" He asks.

Aubrey is able to hide her surprise at that question and she stops folding her clothes as she looks at Jax. His face doesn't give anything away. "You haven't taken it in your own hand to meet him."

Jax shakes his head.

"So did you have a Prospect trailing me or you did and then Juice did a background check." She guesses correctly.

A smug smile comes over his lips and he doesn't deny the accusation. "I just want to know whose been hanging around my favorite girls."

Despite her efforts, she can't help the smile that quirks her lips. "You're so full of shit."

Jax flashes a blinding smile before his face turns serious. "Has he been around Ava?"

Aubrey shakes her head. "No, of course not. I would never bring a man around Ava without you meeting him first."

…

Jax meets him a couple weeks later.

Ava is at her parents for the night and she makes a rather elaborate dinner for the meet. She thinks she went overboard, but this is an important meeting. Despite Jax and her not being together and all the hurt, he still is an important person in her life. Kevin is on his way of becoming someone important and she would like for the two men in her life to get along.

She's not worried about Kevin either. She doesn't think he really has a mean bone in his body. In fact, he's eager to meet Jax as he is even keener to meet Ava finally.

She's honestly worried about how Jax is going to act. She knows he is a man with many shades and she's not delusional to the fact since she does have a kid with him that he seems to have this sense of entitlement on her.

She knows she doesn't help by allowing it to happen, but she knows that that weird part of their relationship will always be there no matter what.

Besides, it doesn't help that Jax has that aura of his bad ass biker persona that he can use to intimidate. Yet when Jax arrives without his kutte, he's civil towards Kevin. The dinner goes smoothly. They talk shop and Jax subtly digs into Kevin's background as if he didn't already know. Kevin tries to sell Jax some insurance for his bike, house, and the shop. They seem to get along. Yet, she knows Jax is good at keeping his feelings close to his chest or really Kevin hasn't done anything now. She knows if Jax thinks Kevin has done any wrong to her and potentially Ava that he would seek retribution.

Soon it becomes late and Kevin leaves. Jax stays back and when she returns to the kitchen he is at the table sipping a beer.

"He seems nice." Jax says with a shrug of his shoulders.

Aubrey rolls her eyes at him. "Don't be an asshole."

"I'm not." Jax insists. "I just didn't think he would be your type."

Aubrey sighs. "And what is my type, Jax?"

"Blonde bikers," he tells her cheekily.

"I'll have you know you were the only biker I ever rode." She informs him.

Jax's eyes light up in glee. "Hmm."

Aubrey doesn't say anything else as she begins putting some of the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Does he make you happy?"

Aubrey turns to face Jax. "Yes, he does." She tells him. Kevin comes without complications and she knows that he will never hurt her the way Jax has done in the past.

She goes back to the dishes and she can hear him getting up, but she is taken back when he comes behind her and hugs her.

She knows that she should push him away because even a simple hug between them is too intimate. She hates that Jax even still has that type of tie in her to know that a hug is dangerous between them.

But he just holds her; he places a gentle kiss to her shoulder before he rests his chin on it. She wonders if this is how it's always going to be between them. Always hanging onto each other on a thin web – always circling one another dispute the hurt and the other people that will come and go in their lives. She thinks it might be a little unhealthy, but it's something that's just them.

She doesn't miss the way his hands come up to her empty womb and rests there. His breath trails across the skin of her neck and leaves goosebumps in their wake. She even feels her nipples tighten at the intimacy.

"I love you," he tells her in one breath.

Aubrey thinks Jax never fights fair.


	7. Round and Round We Go

 

She isn't surprised when Tara comes back to Charming that Jax would go back to his familiar ways with her. She knows that she's guilty of the same thing when it comes to Jax. Things become familiar and it gets dangerous. Easy to slip back into that old comfort. A part of her thinks Jax doesn't really know what he wants. He just wants someone. He seems like the man that always needs to be with someone.

The only thing that stuns her is the fact that Dr. Knowles has returned to Charming after such a very nasty public exit. She didn't think the death of a relative would be enough to pull her back into the cesspool she believes Charming is.

But she is a doctor – surgeon. Neo-Natal.

Just finished med school and is not working towards her licensure.

And she's back and doesn't seem have any intention of leaving yet.

Aubrey doesn't really find herself much annoyed with Tara's presence or the implication of what Tara's and Jax's relationship will lead too.

Although, she thinks this indifference to Tara is more so that the good doctor doesn't like her much. She doesn't understand why…well a little. She can see it every time she comes around with Ava. Aubrey thinks she and Jax interact platonically. There are never any lingering hugs. There is an occasionally kiss to the cheek, but Aubrey is happy with Kevin. Jax is with Tara.

She doesn't know if Tara feels threaten by her mostly because she doesn't know where it stems from. Sure, she and Jax had Ava, but they aren't together. They are just friends and are co-parenting. If anything, Tara should've known that someone like Jax was bound to move on in some ways.

She thinks Tara can't handle the fact that there is another girl who owns Jax's heart that comes in the form of a sassy three year old.

Aubrey smiles as she watches Ava weave through the crowd on her little legs as Jax chases her.

"You know I would like to have another grandbaby," Gemma says as she comes to stand next to her.

Aubrey snorts and her eyes search out for Tara, who is talking to a heavily pregnant Donna. She knows there is no love lost between Gemma and Tara. In fact, it seems since Tara has rolled back into town, Gemma and Aubrey have gotten closer. It wasn't as if she and Gemma didn't get along. They got along very well in fact. It was something that Jax had commented on multiple times. Yet now she knows Gemma is purposefully advertising their good relationship as a means to piss off Tara.

"Maybe you should talk to your new daughter in law," Aubrey retorts.

She almost laughs at the look of disgust that comes across her face. Even if Tara was the mother of Gemma's grandchild she knows that nothing would stop Gemma from loving that baby.

"Mommy!" Aubrey and Gemma turn their attention to Ava, red from excursion, as she runs into Aubrey's arm. "Mommy! Don't let Daddy get me!"

Aubrey laughs as she holds her daughter tightly, "I won't." She tells her as Jax comes stalking towards them. He throws her a wink before he ends up picking her up with Ava causing giggles to erupt out of all of them.

She doesn't even notice the slight glare Tara throws her way.

…

Later in the evening, Jax is putting Ava to bed. After much pushing from Jax, Aubrey had finally caved a few months ago that their daughter needed to be out of a crib. Aubrey somehow couldn't give up the one thing that still signified her baby was just a baby. But their little girl is growing up far too fast.

She watches as Jax places a kiss on Ava's forehead before he comes up and grabs her hand and leads her out of the room. In the hallway, he gives her a hug.

"You're doing good with her Mama." He tells her.

"I can't take all the credit for that," she mumbles against his chest. She knows it's hazardous for her to simply enjoy this simple comfort of his arms wrapped around her. She shouldn't get stuck in his warmth and how she can hear his heart beating. She has Kevin and he has Tara.

She's the one to pull back and out of his warm embrace and stands against the opposite wall. "Your mom mentioned that she wants more grandchildren."

Jax snorts and she deduces that Gemma hasn't been shy in letting Jax know. "It would be nice for Ava to be a big sister." He says.

Aubrey nods her head. She knows how Jax feels about wanting a bigger family, but Aubrey knows she isn't the one that's going to give him that. "Does Tara want kids?"

Jax takes a deep breath as he raises an eyebrow as he settles against the wall more. "Don't you think it's a little early for us to be having that conversation?"

"I think it's a simple question." Aubrey counters. She thinks it's a simple question that two adults should have since Jax already had Ava. Plus, he and Tara already had history and she imagines not much has changed between them with what they wanted in terms of commitments and family. It wasn't as if talking about kids meant having them at that exact moment. She and Kevin had that conversation and Kevin wanted to wait until he rose up at his job and it didn't require him to travel a lot before having a child of his own.

Jax shakes his head and doesn't seem keen on answering her question.

"It's just me, Jax. You can tell me." She tells him lightly.

Jax throws her a smirk. "You know if you want another kid, I will have no problem in donating."

Aubrey's jaw drops open. "You're unbelievable."

Jax shrugs his shoulders. Before his blue eyes become darker as he gives her a once over. She hates when he does this shit, mostly because she knows if he starts something she might not be able to resist.

"You'll be the only mother of my kids," he tells her seriously. Their eyes lock together. Aubrey finds herself at a loss for words at that. She doesn't even know how to respond to that.

She doesn't stop him when he moves from the wall and he crowds her. His hands go to the side of her head as he stares down at her.

"I love you," he tells her.

"I know." She replies as she looks away from his gaze. She knows this and she hates it.

He drops his hands as he moves back a little, but he still stands in front of her. "When's Kevin coming back?"

"Next week," she tells him.

"Everything good since he moved in?" Jax asks her.

Aubrey nods her head. Things were great between her and Kevin. It was comfortable. "I think he is going to propose."

Jax's face goes blank. "Isn't that good news?"

Aubrey nods her head, but she can't help but feel she wouldn't say yes.

…

She remembers Gemma warning her how the club would have slow –downright boring – time and then there would be bad times. When the hits would keep on coming and you would forget that for a time things were good and happy.

Aubrey assumes that this is the bad times.

The first sign of trouble was an explosion by the streams. A warehouse had blown up. Depending on the gossip it was either: faulty wiring or arson, as the warehouse was a weapons depot. Aubrey wasn't an idiot and knew it was connected to SAMCRO.

After that Jax had become more tense and stressed. He tried his best to hide it from Ava. She also knows that without her as a buffer that when he is alone with Ava it's probably even more apparent. Worse, it meant a lot of late nights and Ava missing out on time with her father.

Sometimes she doesn't think it's always the club that is stressing him out, but she keeps that opinion to herself.

Jax is usually good at compartmentalizing, but she knows it's more than club business that has Jax dropping Ava off back her place early on Sundays, which has him spending the rest of the day at her place.

Yet, after the warehouse, it seemed things were going good until a prison transport was hijacked and it resulted in dead cops.

That resulted in ATF swarming down like vultures.

Things began to unravel.

Kevin had broken up with her as a result of a skinny ATF agent questioning him. Aubrey can say she wasn't that surprised that had spooked him enough to break things off with her. It was just a little disappointing that he broke so quickly. When she told Jax that the skinny bitch apparently scared Kevin into breaking up with her, he had only laughed. She did punch him in the arm for that.

And like Kevin, it seemed Tara couldn't handle the troubled waters the club was in.

Aubrey has never made it a habit to ask about Tara. Jax never seemed keen on sharing details. However, it seems years apart didn't change the explosive destructive nature of the two. Despite Jax growing and maturing, it seemed Tara is able to revert him back to some hot headed teen. It was always obvious when they were fighting as he would camp out at her place and it would be a fun filled daddy and daughter weekend that somehow she got roped into more than she liked.

But soon they are all forced to be under the same roof as there was an assassination attempt against Clay.

With Jax busy with club business, Aubrey is stuck dealing with their cranky daughter. Ava knows something is up. The little girl is even more in a sour mood as despite being at the clubhouse she hasn't seen her Daddy all day. When Ava throws these tantrums, she knows that these came from Jax's genes.

After a lot of fighting, Aubrey manages to get the little girl into Jax's bed and into a nap that is sorely needed. Aubrey needs a break and a drink. When Jax returns, he is dealing with his precious princess.

She grabs the baby monitor and heads into the Main area. Since its only 2 o'clock on the afternoon, the clubhouse is relatively tame. The croweaters have appropriate clothes on and everyone except Piney is drinking beer. Aubrey is about to go over with some of the other old ladies and mingle, but she spots Tara over by herself at the bar sulking. And also looking a little bit lonely. Aubrey decides to extend an olive branch besides the two of them never really talked outside of a quick hi and bye.

Aubrey heads over to the bar where Molly, a croweater, who works with her at the dentist office, with her and Donna, smiles and goes and grabs a mug for her hot tea. Tara looks at her briefly clearly put off that someone is at her beck and call.

"They do that to show respect." Aubrey says speaking up.

Tara rolls her eyes. "Oh, please."

Aubrey's brows furrow. From what she knows Tara was once fully immersed in being an old lady, so she's confused as to why Tara's quick to brush off something she's been through before.

"Don't just toss that off. You've earned that. You're not just some crow eater; you're Jax Teller's old lady. And that means something in this clubhouse and in this town. People need to show you respect. And you don't take shit from anyone." Aubrey says remembering the advice Gemma had given her once before.

"And whose Old Lady's are you?" Tara asks hotly.

Aubrey doesn't bother in answering that question. She honestly doesn't get this woman's need for confrontation all the damn time.

"Look, I know that we'll never be friends," Aubrey says. "But I would at least like to think we can be adults."

"Mmm, I find that funny when it's obvious you still have feelings for Jax." Tara counters.

Aubrey counts to five before replying. "I will always care for Jax as the father of my child. Something that you need to come to terms with."

Tara clenches her jaw. "So what are you saying, Aubrey?"

"I just want you to know how serious you are with Jax." Aubrey says sweetly. "Just because we're not together doesn't mean I don't care about him. As long as you're with Jax, you're in Ava's life and by extension I'm thrown into the mix." Aubrey explains calmly.

"Is that any of your business? After all, I'm  _his_  old lady." Tara says before she hops off the bar stool and disappears through the mass of bodies.

 _So much for playing nice_ , Aubrey thinks. She sips on her tea as she watches patches and family interact. Everyone is happy despite the situation. Her eyes flicker to the front of the clubhouse as Jax comes through the clubhouse doors. He easily spots her as he throws her a smile. She smiles back just as brightly as he saunters over to her.

She turns in her chair as he presses a kiss to her cheek and she finds herself brought into a hug.

"Hey," he greets into her hair.

Aubrey gives him a little squeeze as she pulls back. Her eyes flicker to his bright blue ones.

"Everything good?" Aubrey asks quietly as she checks him over for injuries.

She doesn't miss how his eyes light up at her appraisal. He nods his head as he steals her mug and takes a sip of her tea. He hums in approval. "Where's Ava?"

"In  _your_  dorm sleeping," she informs him smugly. He's going to have fun sharing a bed with Ava and Tara tonight.

Jax raises an eyebrow at that in complete suspicion most likely knowing her thought process. "I'm going to go check on her," Jax tells her as he gives her a knowing smile. She smiles sweetly and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

"I swear to God, Jackson Teller, if you wake her up, I will wear your balls for earrings," Aubrey threatens as he begins walking away.

Jax only shoots her a smile before he makes his way back to his dorm. She watches as Tara instantly begins following him.

…

There is a slight reprieve from the heaviness of the Feds and rival gangs. It's a joyous reprieve that can only come from the birth of a new baby.

Donna gives birth to Harry Piermont Winston Junior or Kenny as they have begun to call him.

Looking at the tiny little baby with wide brown eyes and a mop of brown hair, somehow Aubrey is hit with baby fever.

She thinks it's because Ava is already three and her little baby is just growing up to fast. It amazes Aubrey how fast three years have flown by. She remembers when Ava was a tiny little baby that could fit in her arms. Her blonde mop of hair was only a few wisps. Now her baby girl is a sassy little thing who can run as fast as her mouth can talk.

Aubrey thinks she just misses the ache of a child wanting to be fed. A comfort and satisfaction that only a mother can provide. She misses the bonding moments that is exclusive to her as the child grows in her belly. She misses those quiet moments as her stomach grows and the baby responds to her voice. She thinks she might be the only woman that even misses morning sickness.

Of course, Jax can sense this as he seems to notice everything.

But it could be noticeable as she does hog little Kenny whenever the baby is in her sights. He is just so damn precious with his cooing. His baby smiles and belly laughs. She loves buying him little cute onesies. It's even better that she is one of his preferred people to go to when she's around.

As now they are at the Taste of Charming festival Gemma throws every year. This year they are raising funds for the science department. Donna wanted a break and to actually enjoy some of the festival without a baby on her hip. Aubrey had no problem taking Kenny out of her hands.

She's sitting in the shade as Kenny sits in her lap clapping his hands together as they watch people pass by. It's where Jax finds her as he brings her over a drink and some food. She raises an eyebrow at him as she looks behind him where Tara is watching him like a hawk at the Chili booth as Gemma barks orders.

Jax smiles at his nephew and tickles the boys little belly.

She beams as Kenny goes crazy from that and she remembers how Jax used to do this to Ava all the time. It was one of his favorite things to do.

"You remember when Ava was this small?" She asks him as he takes a seat next to her.

"Yeah," Jax says with a nostalgic smile and his eyes searches out for his little girl who is dragging her grandfather by his fingers to the face painting booth. Aubrey will probably shit herself if Ava manages to convince Clay to his whole face painted.

Aubrey presses a kiss to Kenny's head and inhales the scent of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo.

"You want another one?"

Aubrey brings her head up at Jax's question. His blue eyes are searching her face for something. She knows better than to lie to him. She doesn't think she can even if she tried to.

"Yeah, I do." She answers truthfully.

But the hope for a baby is something she doesn't linger on for too long. She's happy if Ava is her only baby in her life.

…

Aubrey wakes up when she feels a dip in her bed that startles. She instantly goes to turn around to punch, kick, and slap the person, but a familiar scent and warmth settles around her. She sighs in exasperation and debates on how she should handle this either by kicking him out or forcing him to cough up as to why he is warming her bed.

Instead, Jax decides for her as his hold tightens. "Just go back to sleep, Aubrey."

She reluctantly does.

In the morning as she gets ready for work, she scolds herself for allowing Jax in her bed without question. She thinks Jax has it way too easy in his life. She knows that the only reason for him to be seeking out her bed is because he is most likely fighting with Tara.

Instead of starting something before work, she only wakes him up to tell him that she's going to work and to be mindful of Ava. She doesn't know why, but she doesn't pull back when he brings her into a sleepy kiss.

She is surprised when Jax shows up at her job at lunch time with Ava.

She doesn't say anything as he takes her to the Corner Café. She lets him buy her lunch and she engages in small talk. It isn't until he is strapping a sleepy Ava in her car seat that she rounds on him.

"I know that look." He grumbles.

"Don't put me between you and Tara." She tells him seriously. She knows Jax like she has begun to know his mother. She knows that Jax never really goes out of his way to be cruel. In fact, when he has happened to hurt her in the past it wasn't some malice intent behind it. It was accidental and quite frankly it was the way he was raised. However, she knows that the father of her child is capable of being cold and calculated. He knows the weaknesses and strengths of everyone he surrounds himself with. So he knows by him publically being around her and parading the fact she is the mother of his only child it will hurt Tara.

She's not stupid to not know that she is a weak spot for Tara. Even if Tara is with him now, nothing can change the fact that Aubrey is the mother of his first born. Tara can never ignore the fact that Jax had started a family with her. He had created a permanent reminder that he had moved on from her.

Aubrey can admit she doesn't know what that would feel like. She imagines it would probably hurt, but then again Tara left. She left him.

Jax doesn't reply. She really doesn't expect him too. Instead, he places a kiss on her cheek and tells her he will see her when she gets off work.

And he stays at her house every day following that.

It's almost a week later when Jax is giving Ava a bath that a knock comes from the door. When she opens the door, she isn't surprised to see Tara standing outside the door fuming.

"Is Jax here?" Tara demands.

Aubrey folds her arms across her chest and she knows Tara has her answer as Jax's bike is barely a few feet away from them.

"One minute," Aubrey tells her sweetly as she closes the door partially.

She is about to head down the hall, but stops as Jax is already approaching with a sopping wet Ava, who is bundled in a towel.

"Who is it?" He asks her as he passes over Ava.

"Who do you think?"

Aubrey heads into Ava's room and lets the little girl pick out her own pajamas as she really tries not to eavesdrop. She can slightly hear the conversation and is pretty sure Tara refers to her as a whore multiple times. Not surprising. Jax's voice rises slightly when he keeps telling her to leave her out of it. But soon Ava demands her attention and Aubrey knows she is going to know the outcome of this argument in a few minutes anyways.

With Ava demanding that she wants to watch a movie, the two go into the living room and Ava is bundled up in her blanket as Aubrey slides in the DVD.

Jax walks through the door as she hits play on the movie. He heads into the living room and sits on the other side of Ava. He's quiet and she can tell by his shoulders he is pissed. But Ava hops into his lap and makes herself at home.

"Daddy, why is your face red?" Ava asks.

Aubrey whips her head over and she can see his right cheek is red with a distinctive handprint.

"I hit my face." He tells his daughter.

Ava stands on her knees and takes her father's face between her small hands and presses a kiss to it. "Daddy all better now."

"Yeah, Daddy is all better."

…

Aubrey is fresh out the shower and somehow has wounded up in one of Jax's oversized t-shirts when she slides into bed.

Jax is already in his space lounging back watching her every move.

They fall into their familiar routine as he turns off the lights. She scoots over him and rests her head on his chest. Usually, he would begin to tell her about his day and such that Ava couldn't be privy to hear. This time she is taken back when he pulls her on top of him and she is straddling his hips.

"What are you doing?" She asks when a raised eyebrow.

"Tara and I broke up." He informs her.

"I gathered as much," she replies as she traces his cheek. "Can I ask why?"

His hands go to her hips before they trail over to her empty womb. "She wanted babies and marriage. She was jealous of you."

Aubrey bites her lip. She wants to tell him that is the most natural progression of relationships. "What do you want?" She asks instead. Besides, Tara's feelings, needs, and wants weren't her concern.

"I want you."

She's not surprised by his words.

In fact, at his admission, she can only stare at him with a pensive face. She hates when he does this. He knows how too exactly to work her. To pull her in and back into his arms and lap. She thinks she might hate him a little for that.

Especially as his hands go to her thighs and he begins to trace a maddening pattern. She can throttle this man.

He sits up and he presses a kiss on her cheek, the edge of her jaw, before he places a soft, gentle, one to her lips.

She thinks she really does hate him.

His hands weave into her now blonde hair as he practically swallows her tongue as he brings her into a wet kiss.

She hates him even more that he gets her to respond to the kiss.

"Jax –" she tries to scold, but comes out as a moan as she pulls away from him.

He doesn't seem keen on stopping as his lips move down to her neck and his hands dip under the oversized shirt. His fingers skim over the edge of her panties.

She goes to say his name again, but he captures her in another kiss. He's quickly breaking down her defenses. She thinks it's only because it's been an awhile since she has had sex and it's been even longer since they have slept together. She isn't ashamed to admit that Jax has given her some of the best sex of her life.

But outside of the mind blowing sex, she has missed Jax.

She misses the intimacy he provides.

Despite not being together, he has always provided her with a sense of security and comfort.

She just missed the intimacy the most. She missed the way he would hold her during and after sex. How he would always trail her back with his fingertips when she was on top before he would bury his hands in her hair.

She misses knowing how Jax is ticklish behind his knees or the fact that his neck is his most sensitive spot. All she has to do is lightly blow on his skin for his pupils to dilate.

But she misses him and she hates to admit that to herself.

She pushes him back down onto the mattress firmly and narrows her eyes at him. "This is it, Jax. I mean it. Cheating is a deal breaker. I'm not going to be sharing you with other women  _at all._  I need full disclosure too. I don't want to be in the dark."

"Are we going to seal this with a kiss?" Jax asks cheekily.

She scowls, but she finds her shirt ripped off her body.


	8. Now or Never

 

This time, Jax lets her take the reins on how their relationship is going to go. Despite the fact they have done this dance multiple times before and already having Ava, she does make them take things slow.

She knows if they really want things to work and for them to last, she can't rush things. They can't with their little girl old enough to being able to piece things together. But she feels that now they are at a place where they know what they want. And despite the hurt he has done her in the past, she is willing to forgive. She will never forget, but she is willing to forgive him.

Yet, she knows there are still things brewing within the club that Jax is keeping from her. She doesn't know if it bothers her yet. She has never been one to pry, but at the same time she doesn't want him to feel like he has to keep things from her. She assumes though things aren't that bad with the Feds because Jax wouldn't have asked her to carry a gun.

She knows the club has enemies. She's not aware of all of them, but she knows how to read a newspaper.

It's another one of his late nights, which honestly bugs the shit out of her, but he tries to make his apologizes between the sheets. She indulges him because she isn't about to turn down a good lay. It's clear that whatever he had going on during the day that he needed it. He's panting in her neck as she feels him softening inside her before he pulls out. She sighs at the emptiness and watches as he leaves the bed to grab a cloth to clean to clean themselves up.

He wraps her into his arms afterwards and she thinks they will just go right to sleep, but her eyes pop open at his worlds.

"I want you to get my crow." He tells her.

"What?" She asks taken back and any trace of sleep leaves her body.

"You should have my crow." He states.

Aubrey leans up and raises an eyebrow at him. "I honestly don't know what to say to that."

"Ideally the word yes follows that." Jax replies sarcastically.

Aubrey isn't sure he is aware that he's making this seem like a marriage proposal. Even then, he's not asking. He's sort of demanding her to get this.

"Hmmm…so really you're not asking me if I want it, but telling me." She clarifies.

"You're my old lady, Bre. Might as well get tagged." He says nonchalantly, but she sees a smile in his eyes.

" _Wow_ , I wasn't aware we were that serious."

Jax pulls her down back to him. He presses a gentle kiss to her lips. "Hey, if you're lucky, I might let you decide where to put it."

"You're such an ass." She mutters against his lips, which only makes him laugh.

…

Happy is the one to give her the tattoo. After a lot of bickering back and forth about the placement of the crow, Jax had politely asked if she could get in on her lower abdomen. She had called him a caveman for that. She was hesitant as she didn't think down the line when things started to sag it would look all that great. She even voiced that thought, but Jax assured her that she would always look hot. She rolled her eyes at that.

But now she is at the clubhouse in Jax's former dorm room and she's nervous as shit. She excuses herself to head into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water although she wishes for something stronger.

She has downed one bottle and is quickly working on her second when she hears the telltale sound of Gemma approaching as her heels smack against the floor.

"You need to calm down. It won't hurt that much."

In reality, Aubrey isn't worried about the pain even if this will be her first tattoo. It's the fact she is getting a tattoo that is essentially acting as a brand. She is branding herself to a man that has hurt her in the past. He has really hurt her and it's a big risk doing this. This is a man that has also given her the gift of being a mother. She thinks this is some crazy showcase of love.

But here she is doing it. Something only a few years ago she would have thought this was foolish. Stupid. It's worse than getting the name of a current lover.

"I'm not worried about the pain." She tells Gemma as she finishes off the second water bottle.

She's worried about regret. She's worried about the future for her and Jax. Despite things between them being great at the moment, she knows that down the line that some uneasiness will come between them. Something always does. It only takes something small for them to just get out of sync.

"You're only the second woman he has given his crow too." Gemma tells her.

"Then I must be incredibly stupid." Aubrey jokes. Although it doesn't exactly comfort her knowing that there is another woman – Tara – out there wearing Jax's brand. But another part is glad that Jax has enough sense not to slap these on every woman that manages to capture his eye.

She can feel Gemma's eyes on her. She can feel the scrutiny. "You're the only woman that deserves it. The only one I have actually approved."

Aubrey turns to the woman, who is practically her mother in law, "Is that a good thing?"

"My son won't make the same mistake twice."

…

Soon, she finds herself in Jax's dorm laying on a massage chair flat on her back. Her shirt is racked up to her bra and her jean shorts are unbuttoned and pushed down to expose her lower stomach more. Of course, Jax is hovering over Happy as he inks her skin.

She's surprised that Happy hasn't kicked Jax out for breathing down his neck. She's almost at the point of kicking Jax out for his hovering and his lecherous grin as the hours go by and her crow gets more detailed.

She learns that this Happy isn't a very talkative person. For the most part, Jax keeps conversation going between the three of them. Happy doesn't seem to mind though. Although she swore Jax gave his brother an ugly glare when Happy remarked she would be a good canvas to work on.

However, by the slight crinkles in the man's eyes, she knows that he was partially fucking with Jax.

Almost five hours later. It's done.

"If you're trying to give Ava a sibling I would chill on doing missionary for a while." Happy's gruff voice says.

Aubrey's eyes widen while Jax's eyes glow.

"That won't be an issue." Jax replies, which earns him a slap in the arm from her.

The truth of the matter is that they have become lax with contraceptive. She had gone off birth control a couple months ago. When she had mentioned it to him, Jax had only shrugged with a knowing smile. Jax had long ago abandoned using condoms.

So they haven't been exactly trying, but they haven't _not_  been either.

…

Like she should've known there is always something that begins to pull apart the thread of their happy moments.

Ava is beaming with excitement for her upcoming birthday party. She is going to be four and she is excited about her party which will have a superhero theme much to the annoyance of her grandmother, who expected princess and pink.

Aubrey tries to keep her thoughts happy for her daughter. She tries to siphon off some of that child joy as she currently finds herself pissed at Jax. And she knows that it's not entirely his fault for what happened. But it is.

Their daughter's birthday is only two days away and Jax had managed to get himself locked up a few days prior. And Aubrey was sure that Jax wouldn't have been home for their daughter's party considering the high bond that had been set. However, Gemma had managed to earn enough goodwill with Elliot Oswald to front the bill.

Jax had come home and she found herself giving him the cold shoulder.

She has just returned home from work when she finds the house empty except for Jax, who is in the garage working on restoring a bike. Considering that there is no monitor or Ava handing him tools, she knows he has dropped their daughter off at one of her grandparents.

She gets out of her car as Jax leans away from the frame of the bike and wipes the grease off his hands.

"We need to talk Bre." He tells her simply.

She sighs and folds her arms across her chest.

He looks at her with a mask of calmness she highly doubts he is feeling at the moment. She thinks she might be acting a little childish and in that her shoulders sag in resignation as she moves to stand next to him at his work bench.

His muscular arm comes around her shoulders and he pulls her close and presses a kiss on the top of her head. They stand in silence and she finds comfort in Jax's warm and strong hold. She knows these free unrestricted moments will soon be on a time limit.

"So how long will you be gone?" She asks quietly. She has a feeling it's going to be longer than 6 months.

"Two years with good behavior." He tells her.

Two years.

Ava will be nearly six when he would come home.

Two years.

Her stomach drops.

Jax's arms move from her shoulders and trail down her body until they lay onto her stomach – her lower abdomen.

"How far along are you?"

"Two months."


	9. A New Son

**PART THREE: THIS CHARMING LIFE**

 

* * *

Unlike with Ava, this pregnancy exhausts her and morning sickness has done some damage on her throat. She prefers her tropical fruit salads compared to her first pregnancy of wanting the combination of sweet and salty. She's even carrying different too. With Ava, all there had been was belly. It looked like she shoved a basketball under her shirt like she used to do when she was a kid. Now, she has grown thicker in her hips, thighs, and somehow even in her lips. Jax leers at her new bust line and curves and claims she has that pregnancy glow, which she firmly believes is just extra perspiration.

She is also a mess emotionally. No longer is she cool as a cucumber. She cries if a banana isn't ripe the way she wants it. Everyone has made sure to keep a box of Kleenex on standby especially on the days she aches for Jax the most. It irritates her that she is so emotional. She hates how needy she feels for the blonde biker. As much as she needs him – misses him. She thinks she hates him with the same fiery passion.

With Ava, it didn't bother her that she was going to be a single mother. She particularly didn't care if Jax was going to be involved or not. She had a support system outside of Jax.

Now is a different story.

She wishes that Jax could be here to fully experience a pregnancy with her. She wishes she had someone to go baby shopping with. Someone to rub her back and feet as her body changes. She had already went through that alone once. She didn't want to go through it alone again.

She wishes she could see Jax bond with their unborn child in the privacy of their home and not with prison guards watching.

She will have to go through the delivery alone. At least Jax was there for Ava.

And little Ava hasn't been taking Jax's prison sentence very well.

She didn't understand why they had to visit him in a cold dingy place with mean looking people. Ava was becoming frustrated with why her daddy was away. When it came time to leave Stockton, Ava had begun throwing fits for having to leave her father behind.

And Aubrey knows that she doesn't help matters much either. If she wasn't pregnant she thinks that she would have been handling his prison sentence better. But she can't help the sharp jabs she takes as she reminds him of the fact she is home alone raising their daughter and soon another child.

She knows it's wrong to have him stewing in even more guilt. She hates highlighting what she believes to be a failure to him. She knows she sounds like a belligerent idiot on those days as she reads him the riot act of what he is doing to their family.

And she misses him.

She misses him more than words could describe.

She thinks she might hate him a little bit for it.

She starts to see why people say there is a fine line between love and hate.

. . .

His absence hurts even more when she finds out they are having a boy. A boy that may have his blonde hair and blue eyes and could be the spitting image of his father like his sister. A little boy she imagines will get into as much trouble as Jax did when he is a kid. Despite only seeing a small tiny version of Jax, Jax tells her that their little boy will be the spitting image of her. She laughs quietly then. As she knows it's stupid, but she wants her kids to be spitting images of their father. She wants them to be blatant reminders of the best part of Jax. She doesn't mind if she's just a recessive gene.

. . .

7 months into Jax's sentence, she gives birth to Jeremiah Thomas Teller.

It's a quick labor.

And their boy is eager to come to the world and unlike Ava who wailed like a banshee, Jeremiah was quiet as the nurses cleaned him and swaddled him tightly before placing him in her arms.

And unlike Ava, who had inherited Jax's blonde hair and blue eyes, Jeremiah was all her. His hair a light brown with eyes that will slowly turn to a piercing green eyes and his face is all her.

Jax says so as much when she first takes him to see his son.

It's almost two months after Jeremiah has been born when she makes the trip. Jeremiah is an easy baby. He's quiet and content in her arms or his swing. He likes to watch and seems to be able to amuse himself. Although despite being a generally happy baby, he only gets cranky when he gets passed around like a hot potato.

Her parents claim that she was like that as a child. She only allowed certain people to hold her. Yet, a part of her thinks, this is Jeremiah's way of knowing that his father isn't here with them.

But it's Ava, who is having the rough transition from being an only child to an older sibling.

Ava has become needy and clingy of her. Ava doesn't want Aubrey out of her sight. She isn't particularly fond of the fact that Jeremiah did require a lot of attention. Even so everyone was so fond of the new baby. Ava has always been a sassy little thing, but Aubrey knows it's not acceptable that her little girl is slamming doors.

Aubrey does have some concern of what that means for Jax when he comes home. She knows that Ava is going to feel some type of way no matter what as Jax tries to make up for lost time. She has already voiced this in many of their phone conversations, but she knows that he doesn't particularly believe the extent of it.

So it's only on a weekend that her parents have taken Ava away to a trip to Disneyland. Aubrey takes Jeremiah to meet his father for the first time.

Jax is in awe of his son.

She watches as he places their baby boy on the table and admires his ten fingers and toes. His little button nose. He tickles his belly earning him a gummy smile.

It takes everything in her not to cry at the sight of father and son.

As Jax is enamored with their second child, she takes the time to look over Jax.

She can tell Jax has been putting his time in prison to use. He has more muscle than the last time she seen him. He's more bulky than before. His prison shirt is tight against his frame. And his skin is surprisingly tan. The most obvious change is that he has chopped off his precious blonde hair into a simple buzz. She finds that she likes it more than she thought she would as the last time he had cut his hair this short; she knows that he wasn't in a good place mentally.

In all it looks like Jax has been at a day spa than a prison.

He's holding Jeremiah close when he looks up at her. His blue eyes shine with unshed tears and her hand comes up to caresses his cheek.

"I promise I won't miss something like this again." He tells her. He promises her.

Her fingers come down his face until they stroke the soft flesh of their son's innocent face. She isn't able to say anything, but believes he means those words. She believes he means it and for now that's good enough.


	10. Custody Battle

 

Aubrey should have known that she and Gemma were bound to clash eventually. It was inevitable. She's just surprised it took this long for them to be at each other's throat. But it isn't surprising as it's a stressful time for all of them. Jax wasn't the only one sitting in the Stockton Prison. Clay along with Juice, Tig, Bobby, and Happy were there. It only left Opie, Chibs, and Piney at the table. But they had voted in Kozik and had taken on three new Prospects.

With majority of the club away, Gemma had taken on the burden of making sure that Charming didn't get any funny ideas about the small town appreciating the quiet that has risen from the guys being away.

Of course, Aubrey had been pulled into the scheme as well as Gemma couldn't help herself when it came to fundraisers and public appearances into buying good will. Gemma had lectured her repeatedly on being a good and strong Old Lady. It didn't matter that she had just popped out a kid and was dealing with the emotional ramifications it was doing on her body.

All that matter was Aubrey needed to be the glue for Jax. She needed to be the one to flaunt that nothing was wrong between them or even within the club.

But Gemma seems to forget that she is now a mother of two kids. It was hard juggling a newborn and a little girl, who was having a terrible time as it was handling her father away and a new baby brother. Plus, soon Aubrey was going to be heading back to work.

So the young mother had taken the initiative to send Ava and Jeremiah to day care part time with Gemma and her parents rotating the two days she wouldn't be taking them. It was a move Jax fully supported and understood. Besides the kids would be socializing with other kids while beginning to work on their education. Aubrey could've sworn she had told Gemma she had sold club secrets to the Mayans with the venomous reaction she received from Gemma.

Gemma didn't like it although Aubrey wasn't seeking her opinion. The biker matriarch had accused her of being lazy for letting other people watch her children. Even worse, Gemma had made the suggestion that she shouldn't even be working.

So now there was a civil war between the two of them.

And like now and most visits these days, she regales Jax with the passive aggressive antics of his mother. The latest being Gemma had threatened another parent with shoving a coffee mug up their ass. They weren't earning a birthday party invite from that family in the future.

"You want me to talk to her?" Jax offers.

Aubrey looks up at Jax, who is holding Ava in his lap, while she holds their sleeping son in her arms. He remains quiet as he listens to her as she knows that there isn't much he can really do inside these walls. There isn't really anything he can do, but listen to the aftermath of things that are plaguing their family.

Aubrey shakes her head as she looks up at him as he smiles softly at her. She would kill to just to be able to feel his arms wrap around her and for him to just hold her tightly. "No, I'll handle your mother." She tells him. She doesn't need Jax fighting her battles for her anyways.

He raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn't question her further. Instead, his eyes trail over her before they slowly make their way back up and he meets her green eyes.

"You look good." He tells her with a mischievous smile.

She glares at him. She thinks she looks like anything other than good. She still feels a little frumpy. After all, her battered esteem still stings after Gemma's off handed remark that nobody likes a fat old lady while she was wallowing in her emotions while eating a packet of Oreos.

On impulse, she dyed her hair a rich chocolate brown; she felt a little better about herself, but still has some pounds to lose. But even then, the ache she feels for Jax is greater than her desire to bounce back to her body before Jeremiah. "Don't go down that route," She warns.

He chuckles as his hand comes up and twirls a piece of her soft brown hair. "I love you," he tells her softly. And Aubrey's body relaxes. At the end of the day it didn't matter what Gemma or Charming had to say about him, her, and their relationship. In the end, the only thing that mattered was between her and Jax.

"I love you too," she tells him with a smile.

"I love you too, Daddy," Ava pipes up, which causes both parents to laugh.

…

For the most part, Jax's sentence has been going smoothly. There was nothing that was going to sabotage the guys for having to complete their full sentence of 7 years. In so little words, Jax had assured her that they had been able to secure protection and most of all he was keeping his head down until he wasn't.

A whole year had gone by when Jax gets his visitation revoked. What's worse is that the prison won't even tell her why she can't see him as he has been thrown in solitary and can't receive anything. She thinks that is frankly bullshit. What's worse is that she has to deal with a cranky and upset Ava as she can't see her daddy.

Thankfully, two days later, Clay had reached out to Opie on a burner to say that Jax and a Russian had gotten into a fight. She could tell Opie didn't want to tell why Jax had risked prolonging his sentence. Yet, Aubrey was like a Pitbull, and she barked and bit until Opie fessed up and informed her that the Russians had been taunting the guys and one had sought out to mess with Jax. It had only escalated after the Russian had stolen a photo of her and another one of kids that Jax had snapped.

Aubrey isn't blind to prison politics and prison survival. Worst, she can only imagine what filthy thoughts the man probably had or what he even did with the photos. Yet, she could murder Jax for getting in a fight over a goddamn picture. After all, she can send him more pictures.

So Aubrey stews in anger mostly at Jax. Sometimes she wished that he would think with his head and not his fist or for once just be the bigger man and walked away. But anger is soon replaced with terror and fear as when Jax is released from solitary a week later, he gets shived the very same day.

She remembers after Ava was born the first and only time she thinks she had seen Jax cry. She had been preparing for the worst when it came to postpartum depression. However, she had been lucky. It seemed Jax had been the one to be going through high and extreme emotions after the birth of their daughter.

It had been two weeks since Ava's birth. She was getting ready for bed and had stepped out of the bathroom feeling fresh and like chamomile instead of breast milk. Jax was sitting on the edge of the bed where Ava was sleeping in her bassinet. He was hunched over and staring intently as silent tears were falling.

She was worried that something happened to Ava and she had immediately ran over to the bassinet. Yet, their daughter was sleeping peacefully. She had taken a seat next to Jax and was about to implore about what happened, but he had beat her too it.

It was the first time he had mentioned the club – his Life – since his release from prison. He had expressed his fears and worries as a father. He had doubts that he would be able to raise a child in this Life. He exposed his fear that maybe his child – his little girl – would hate him for who he was. He was scared that he would get taken away from a bullet or jail.

It was the first time she had to comfort Jax, but his words did bring up valid concerns about who he was and what her family was now a part of.

It was a harsh reality for her that Jax could die or go to prison for a long time. His Life could tear their family apart.

No matter how much she loved Jax, the man she shared a bed with, the man who was the father of her children was an outlaw. There wasn't anything romantic about it. It was an ugly brutal life she had allowed herself to get involved in.

And now he may die in prison because of his life and all it's moral codes.

. . .

She has never seen Jax look so small and she hates to say it weak. His skin is cold and pale and he is hooked up to various machines to keep him steady. He had lost a lot of blood and his lung had gotten nicked. They were hoping it would heal on its own, but the tear could become worse requiring surgery. But now they were on the lookout for infections or worse pneumonia.

Luckily since he was transported to the shithole that was Stockton, it meant longer visiting hours.

And as she sits and watched him sleep, she is hit with Jax's mortality. Jax could've died and left her alone to raise their two children. She tries not to cry as she doesn't want Jax to wake up to that, but she can't cap these emotions. The fact this may very well be a reality for her. She's trying her best to muffle her cries as she buries her face in her hands.

She only stops crying when she feels a weight in her hair and she lifts her head to meet Jax's tired gaze. He gives her a weak smile, "I'm okay, darlin'."

She wants to smile and hug him. Even kiss the shit out of him, but nothing can override her fury for him making her feel like this. She stands up from her seat as her sad eyes narrow in anger.

"You fucking asshole!" She hisses through her tears.

He doesn't seem surprised by her outburst even if he is still feeling the effects of the drugs that are pumping through his system.

"Why weren't you watching your back!" She practically hisses at him. "Do you have any idea how much you fucking scared me!"

His hand with an IV pierced in it reaches up and grabs her shaking hand, "I'm sorry," he croaks.

"Sorry!" She screeches. "I could fucking kill you if you ever do this to me again! I'm not going to be raising our babies alone Jax."

And a part of her wants to sprout out some ultimatums to him. In her anger, she's surprised that she doesn't make him choose between the club's power plays and their family. But she knows in the end that's not what she is really asking of him. She knows that ripping Jax away from the club would be impossible – it would change the man she loves. Yet, at the same time, she can't just blindly ignore the very real dangers. Even with their full disclosure she knows Jax still keeps things from her.

What's she really is asking from him is too put their family first. For once to let the club be second in his life. She nibbles on her lip as she sighs in defeat from the emotional exhaustion.

Jax frowns as he tugs her closer. His blue eyes shining as he eyes her. "I'm hurting here, darlin', I was kinda hoping for a kiss."

Aubrey growls. "You're a fucking jerk."

"I love you too, darlin'." He tells her as if that makes everything okay – better.

As if their love or bond will withstand all the bullshit from his life. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't.


	11. Home Sweet Home

 

It's weird how two years had gone by so fast, but then again so slow. It's hard to believe that it's been two years since Jax had gone inside. No matter what, it doesn't change the fact that two years felt like forever especially in the lens of child development.

It's tough to think she had managed to keep their little family together and sane during his time away. Aubrey reminds herself that two years could have easily been two more or even twenty more.

But she managed to get through and out on the other side. After all, she did her best to make sure Jax felt included. She knows it hurts him more than he will ever admit to see Ava grow up without him. The fact she had started Preschool and Kindergarten without him there. He couldn't help her with all the small homework assignments that she brought home. The missed birthdays and holidays that felt his gaping absence. She knows despite her reassurances of there being more birthdays and holidays, it didn't change he wasn't there for some of those.

He still had missed the birth of his youngest child. His first son.

He missed the first steps, laugh, smile, and words.

And as much as she is happy he's home, there is another part of her that knows this can happen again. And he wouldn't be going only for only two years. As a repeat offender he would be gone for longer. He very may well get life in prison that would cement her as a prison widow. She doesn't know if she has it in her to stick it out like Luann has. She doesn't know if she could put herself on hold for him again. She doesn't think she could manage it.

But she decides to worry about that later.

Because he is coming home and she's happy. Ava can barely contain her excitement and Jeremiah on his small legs is bouncing in excitement because of everyone else.

Aubrey can also admit she is a little nervous. Despite weekly visits, both she and Jax have changed in little ways. She's scared that the small threads will disrupt them because it's what always happens with them.

It's always the little things that pick them apart and with two kids they can't do that anymore.

And as he pulls into the lot, she can barely contain the need to run over and wrap her arms and legs around him tightly. Instead, she watches as Ava runs to him on her fast legs and jump him as he holds his pride and joy in his arms and kisses her. Aubrey manages to catch Jeremiah mid run much to his displeasure. Jax laughs at his son's huff of annoyance, but once they are at a more respectable distance. Jeremiah squeals as Jax scoops him up in the air.

She watches with a fond smile at the sight and tries not to melt at the sight.

But she finds his burning blue eyes on her as he sets the kids down, who run over to greet their grandfather. Her cheeks begin to hurt from the smile on her face as Jax slowly swaggers over to her. Yet, she surprises them both as she practically mauls him to the ground as she jumps him. He catches her in a deep wet kiss that doesn't seem enough. And she curses him for making her seem like some needy girl. She's embarrassed by her tears, but he wipes them away with his thumb. A warm smile tugs his lips as he places a far gentler – burning – kiss to her lips.

Yet two years was too long and if she had it her way, she would never let him out of her sight.

…

Somehow they manage to make it home after the homecoming party. She had stayed glued to Jax's side as well as their kids as they socialized. She had been reluctant to let Jax leave her side even for a potty break. And from the twinkle in his eyes she knows he was enjoying this needy side of her as he indulged her with sweet kisses, his fingers running through her hair, and the innocent touches as his fingers trail her body.

Thankfully, the kids are worn out from the party and excitement of their dad being home when they get back to the house.

Jax volunteers to put them to bed and reads them each a story. He has barely made it to the doorframe of their bedroom before she jumps him earning a laugh from him.

…

Afterwards, they are both basking in the afterglow and littered in love bites. Aubrey is tucked into his side with an arm thrown across his torso. She's pretty sure that she will be walking funny the next couple of days too.

"So I take it you missed me?" Jax teases.

"Of course I did," she replies as she punches him for stating the obvious.

Jax chuckles as he grabs her little fist and presses a kiss to her knuckles.

"I missed you too." He tells her softly in her hair. "And the kids...they're so big now." He says and she can hear the strain in his voice.

Ava is 6 now. She's taller and speaks in clearer sentences. She doesn't like the things she did at four than what she likes now.

And Jax hasn't been at home at all to watch Jeremiah grow. Their boy is already a year and a half and Jax has no sense of where their son is at and might as well be a stranger.

Aubrey leans up and looks into his blue eyes. "I know you can't promise me no more time, but just promise me you'll be here for the next pregnancy."

She knows that when he does knock her up again she would really like for him to be there from start to finish. She's glad that he was there for Ava's birth, but he hadn't been there for the whole pregnancy.

Jax moves up as he moves to hover over her and between her thighs. "I think I can manage that." He promises.

…

Aubrey is surprised with how easily Jax fits into the routine with the kids. Of course, Ava was going to be a little bit easier. However, she can tell Jax isn't prepared for the sassy six year old that replaced his four year old. If anything Ava is Jax through and through. She can only imagine how Ava is going to be as a teenager. Ava is already a pretty girl and she knows with puberty she is going to blossom.

Yet, she was more concerned with how Jax and Jeremiah were going to bond. With their son being on the cusps of two, she didn't think the weekly visits with Jax would be enough. After all Jax was never home. She was the one that would feed, bathe, and play with him. She was the constant presence in his life.

There had been some initial distrust from son to father, but she thinks Ava helped with Jeremiah warming up to their father.

She also knows Jax is trying to make up for the two years away. Like today with a day off from the club, he had asked if she could keep the kids home from daycare.

She was worried that she would come home to a destroyed house or all of them hopped up on sugar.

In fact, she had expected Jax to either call her or his mom or even Opie to come help him out. Instead, she comes home to find Jax and the kids sprawled out on the couch sleeping. She's tempted to take a picture of Jax who is decked out with lip gloss and smoky eyes and even painted fingernails.

She's about to dig for her phone when Jax's eyes pop open and smiles at her. He opens his arms and she joins him on the couch.

This is her home sweet home.


	12. Kings and Queen

**Chapter 12:**   _King and Queen_

Aubrey  _is_  happy.

She's really really happy.

She finds herself content with her life and her family. She's happy being a mom to Jeremiah and Ava. She knows being a mother is her greatest accomplishment. She doesn't know if she ever really describe seeing the best parts of her and Jax grow. She also knows that she dreads everyday they grow older, but it just makes her appreciate that Jax was able to give her the gift of motherhood.

And surprisingly, she's happy being Jax's Old Lady.

Sure it requires her to follow some of the archaic and quite frankly sexiest bylaws and customs of the club. But it was Jax's world and she was happy that he wanted her to be a part of it. He chose her to be a part of his world.

The kids of course don't notice her extra attention and affection. In fact, they love it especially her baby boy. Jax, of course, had begun teasing that Jeremiah was a mama's boy as Jax wasn't one himself.

Besides, now with Jax being home for a few months, Ava is back to being a daddy's little girl. And it seems every Saturday the mornings are devoted to Jax and Ava having their bonding time while on Sunday, Jax devotes the day to Jeremiah.

Even then, Aubrey, when she doesn't think about it too much, also has been waiting on Jax hand and foot. During the course of their relationship, the two were never really outright affectionate. There would be little touches here and there and in public they would also stand in close proximity. Yet, they saved the need for contact behind closed doors.

But since his release from prison, it had changed between them. She thinks it's mostly because of his close call with death.

But Jax revels in the attention she is giving him. A part of her thinks he might be wondering if she is working her up to asking for another baby. She knows she does eventually want to add to their family, but right now his two years away is still too fresh.

Aubrey finds herself settled with her life - family. She's surprised that she hasn't yearn for something more permanent or even brought it up. With the way things have gone in her life, she thinks kids are a bigger commitment than marriage. She's not surprised Jax hasn't mentioned it. After all, considering she got his crow that practically meant they were married anyways. And she doesn't know if they really need it, but it doesn't stop her from chanting her name with Jax's name in her head like a schoolgirl.

She can be a little girl sometimes.

Aubrey walks into the bedroom she shares with Jax, who is already lounging in bed reading a magazine. He smiles as he spots her in the doorway. The magazine is forgotten. "Hey."

"Hey back," she replies as she steps into the room and quickly slides into bed. His hands immediately grab her and she releases a giggle as he pulls her on top of her. He wraps his arms securely around her as they are pressed chest to chest.

Sometimes she still can't believe that Jackson Teller is the man that she has somehow ended up tangled with. This is the man she has created a family with. A man that has broken her heart and at the same time mended it despite the hurt – the pain – he has put her through.

Sometimes she wonders if she is stupid or crazy for getting involved with him. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

Aubrey tilts her head up that is resting on his chest and his blue eyes connect with her green ones. He gives her a soft smile as he traces a maddening pattern across her back.

Her hand comes up to his jaw. She traces the outline that is decorated with a few days of growth. For some reason, he decided to shave the beard he had grown in prison. She wasn't exactly happy with that move and he knew it after she threw out his razor.

"Are we crazy?"

His blue eyes light up as a teasing smile comes across his lips. "You said it not me."

Aubrey scowls at him.

He tightens his hold on her. "Maybe, but who isn't."

Aubrey lays her head back down against his warm chest and listens to the beating of his heart. For some reason, his words don't really assure her or maybe she's a little miff that he would consider them crazy. She's not sure or really maybe the stings of his betrayals haven't really faded away.

Maybe she doesn't want to just be the crazy baby mama of Jax Teller or an old lady. His second one at that she reminds herself.

"You going to tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"Can't make things too easy for you can I?"

"No, I guess not," he tells her quietly as he shifts and before Aubrey can really comprehend she finds herself on her back with Jax fitting easily between her thighs.

The first kiss is simply a tease. Just a little taste that leaves her wanting more as she chases his lips before she becomes distracted as he trails down her jaw, neck, and chest. As his hands slip underneath her shirt and things are becoming a little more heated, a loud cry echoes through the house.

Jax rips his lips from her body as he sighs dramatically. Aubrey can't help, but giggle.

"My son the master of timing." Jax comments as he slips out of bed.

Through the baby monitor, Aubrey can hear Jax softly singing "Sweet Child of Mine."

. . .

It's a sad, but joyful event. Due to an inclining health, Piney Winston has to step down from his position and duty as the Vice President of SAMCRO. Aubrey can't really tell if the man is feeling some sort of blow to his ego over this. She knows men can get really out of sorts about things happening that they didn't choose. It wasn't out of their own free will, but life and health has a funny way of changing plans.

Although, everyone knows it could be worse that instead of celebrating a retirement of some sort it could've been Piney's funeral.

Yet, Piney is all smiles with his bottle of Tequila and the customized trike the boys had punched in to buy and customize for the grouchy First 9 member. But this party is a celebration of even more; it signifies a major change for the structure of the club. She's not sure if she should call it legacy or fate in the case of Jax.

With Piney stepping down as Vice President, Jax was nominated for the role. She knows the vote passed unanimously. Knows there wasn't any resistance to Jax being one step closer to following in his father's footsteps. As she eyes the mint clean flash that proclaims him VP, she wonders if this same fate will follow their son. She doesn't linger on those thoughts because Jax is generally happy. This is his world and his life.

She trusts him to be able to balance this along with the security of their family. However, Aubrey isn't as young as she once been and motherhood has slightly sucked the need for her to want to stay out late and party. Besides, this party is clearly for the men than old ladies.

She finds her way up onto the roof that gives her a clear view of the clubhouse and the party, but she is also able to get a good view of Charming as well. She doesn't know how long she has been up there, but apparently long enough for her absence to become noticeable.

Jax's head pops up from the opening before he fully climbs out onto the roof.

He sits next to her on the crate. "You okay?"

Aubrey smiles as she nods her head. "Yeah, I didn't realize I was up here that long." She looks at him with a slight frown. "I didn't…I didn't do anything wrong –"

Jax immediately shakes his head and his arms immediately wrap around her as he places a kiss on her head. "Naw, in fact, it's better that you aren't down there." He grimaces slightly and Aubrey can only imagine what Tig and Happy are doing. "Besides, I need to talk to you about something."

Aubrey raises an eyebrow as Jax digs into the pocket of his kutte. Her heart nearly lodges into her throat at the sight of the velvet box.

Her mouth opens and closes a few times and she is stunned into silence as he opens the box. It's a beautiful white gold ring with a ruby red pearl shape diamond in the middle outline with small diamonds. Her eyes find Jax's blue ones.

"We should get married."

Aubrey's eyes go from the box to his eyes. "Is that what you want?"

Sure the guys had their old ladies, but she felt marriage was a whole different commitment. Marriage was part of the institution that the men despised.

"I love you." He tells her.

Jax says later that she cried. Aubrey didn't remember crying tears. She does remember making him get on his knees to make the proposal more traditional. Although Jax tells her he got on his knees for a different reason.


End file.
